Category: Walking on the Glass Ceiling

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Top 5 Elements of a Successful Brand!

A Brand is much more than a unique logo and advertisement. A successful Brand is a deep connection between the Brand and people. There are many factors to be considered to make the Brand successful. Every step and challenge you face to achieve your goals build your Brand. It is well recommended to build your Brand first rather than to build your business. If people want to get in touch with your Brand, you have to be known. This is where Personal Branding comes into the picture. Showcasing your skills, qualities, and explaining what makes you stand out, helps to unveil the Brand in You. Since you are a widely known Brand, your company will also be a Brand. Personal Branding is more effective and will set you apart from the competition and will also allow you to reach potential clients. Let’s see some of the top 5 elements of a Successful Brand.

Brand Story:

People always love stories. That is why they are captured by best-selling novels and blockbuster movies. Your Brand story can make a great change here and create everlasting ties. When people engage emotionally with your Brand’s story, they trust your Brand. Managing a Brand’s reputation and building trust is more crucial than anything. The Brand story describes how the company’s past adds credibility, influences, and offers value to the Brand.

Consistency:

Your Brand is the voice that needs to be heard. How often do you show up? When you show up more frequently, your audience becomes more comfortable approaching you. Your audience will trust you if your Brand and Brand values are consistent. Consumers trust your Brand more when it is consistent, and that trust leads to greater positive thoughts towards your Brand. Consumers should be aware of what to expect and how the outcome will be. If they feel that your Brand values are changing, they will conclude that they cannot trust your company. That is why being consistent is more important to build a successful Brand.

Connect with the Consumer:

Your business and Brand run successfully because of your consumers, which is why it’s important to keep track of how they interact with your Brand. Finding ways to show them you care regularly helps to create a connection and builds your Brand. Connecting with consumers and making interactions through social media will create a bond between the Brand and consumer. Appreciating them through surveys and other ways helps to find your target audience.

Creating Branding Awareness:

Consumers recognize and remember your company based on its Brand awareness. This allows a larger audience to recognize your logo and products. The greater the Brand awareness, the more the consumers. This is a way through which the Brand does the communication and shows the nature of the Brand. For example: When a new book of a famous author is released, generating a real buzz about the book creates a massive amount of talk on social media, and creates Brand awareness.

Community & Network:

You will be able to recognize the suitable market for your organization after you have a clear understanding of your Brand. Targeting customers who share values and personality traits specified for your company will assist in the growth of your organization. A well-defined Brand attracts like-minded customers and employees and forms a large community. A successful Brand is more about the connections with other people. That is why it is said that a Brand’s worth can be determined by the networks. These essential elements provide a successful accomplishment to your Brand. Overall, Brand value is based on the image or perception, trust of being consistent, and an emotional connection between the consumer and Brand.

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Mamta

Shefali was sitting next to the life she held within her for nine months. She was back home from hospital. The child was crying and Shefali thought it appropriate to lift the child because her mother in law was there in the same room and would think how bad a mother she was. As she lifted the baby, she could’nt make it stop crying, she could feel all eyes staring at her, she blamed herself for not behaving like a mother. All this while she wanted to show love to her baby not because she wanted to but there were people around and it was her duty to feel that way. Shefali thought that pregnancy had not changed anything and that she was different, mothers are so selfless but all she wanted at that moment was to leave the child all alone by itself and attend the party going outside. The movement of her foot was in sync with the music but she felt guilty. The baby did,nt stop crying and this made her look at it with disgust, she hated her baby for taking away her free life, she hated him for making her ugly, she hated him for the pain she had to bear and this disgust made her feel guilty all the more.
She thought she was not mother material, she was different. She could neither share her feeling with her husband nor her mother in law as what would they think of her, she was a failure she thought.

One night, the thought of killing her child flashed through her mind. Shefali cried for hours to compensate the evilness of her thought , her husband Raj called her childish and insensitive. For seven weeks Raj did everything for the baby from changing his diapers to making him eat. He noticed that Shefali had not changed her kurta for the last two days, her hair was all open, he scolded her for not taking care of herself during this lactation period. Seeing this abnormal behavior for some weeks, Raj took Shefali to the doctor. She was diagnosed with ‘Postnatal Depression’.
The disease is not as uncommon as you think. A woman goes through tremendous psychological changes during this period. She is most vulnerable at this time. Reality check, If a child learns to love his parents gradually, so a parent is also not born suddenly but becomes one gradually. There are many Shefalis who need this support and conviction from us that one day they will learn to love their child unconditionally.
A woman is not born a mother but becomes one. Lets not epitomize her to the extent that she feels ashamed and incapable of expressing herself naturally.

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8 Ways of improving ‘Online Branding‘ in this period of social distancing.

There are always two ways of looking at reality, one can see a glass ‘Half Full’ or a glass ‘Half Empty’. With this
Corona Crisis on our hand and twenty one days of complete Lockdown, it seems the world has come to a standstill.
Fear has become the dominant emotion of the day and the only door left open to us is the door of Social Distancing.
We have been engrossed in our external lives to that extent that all we can think about this quarantine period is a
period of infertility where nothing productive can emerge. When external reality has slammed door upon us, virtual
reality is inviting us in and this we must never forget that what seems as a painful halt is actually a redirection
activity. This is the period to express your true self without any filters of the external world. It seems that
nature has taken away all that was artificial and we have been left with are our natural abilities and talents to
make something productive out of it.

So, as far as Online Personal Branding is concerned then what could be the best time to put out your true self out
there. Here I would like to share with you some tips of improving the online brand called ‘YOU’ in this period of
Social Distancing:-

  1. Turn towards the virtual world
    Since the
    doors to external world are all closed, the only place where our self expression can find a place is the virtual
    world. So, don’t lose on your presence by being active on social media. Let’s make Twitter, Instagram and
    Facebook our new niche.
  2. Voice your opinion
    When external action
    is at a halt, then the world of ideas invite us in. There is nothing more beautiful than a mind which can think
    . Value your ideas, take stand for things that you identify yourself with but in the process, don’t spread
    hatred but offer solutions.
  3.  Be unique in what you have to offer to the
    world
    There are a plethora of people who are running after the same things which
    others have already achieved, speaking what the world has already said or either complicating the simple things
    of life just to gain attention. Remember, as a brand your credibility comes from your uniqueness and uniqueness
    always comes from a place of authenticity and simplicity.
  4. Become more visible
    Branding is all about
    consistency, if your visibility on social media is like fire, you would gain a lot of momentum and attention but
    eventually it will burn you and you might enjoy momentary fame but if your visibility is like flowing water, you
    will never run out of public attention. If you couldn’t master the external stage, then be a boss in this
    virtual world. Let yourself out there!
  5. Share a small bite of your life with
    others      The golden rule for branding is to be authentic and to be authentic means to
    share a part of who you are with others, so use this opportunity to let others take a flavor of your life by
    posting pictures and expressing your life through words, ideas or music. It is also a good time to share with
    people how you are dealing with this crisis on a personal level.
  6. New ideas for a whole new world
    We all know
    that we are in a sort of transition and on the other side of this change is a world which would never be the same.
    Things that mattered once , may no longer matter. Such crisis make us think that how crazy and unpredictable the
    world is and one may never know when the silliest and the most abandoned of our ideas may become a reality. Had you
    ever imagined that one day all schools would run from a software? Or could a large invested company function
    smoothly from home? What seemed an impossibility has become the new possibility, so don’t put break on your mind and
    come up with the most amazing ideas that once you thought were no more than a fantasy. The time is fertile for all
    the budding business men and business women and other professionals like teachers, doctors and even scientists to
    look at the world in the way we have never looked before.
  7. Let’s make social media our new stage
    From
    education to bhakti, all occupying the virtual stage, the time has come for us to create infinite possibilities and
    opportunities for the world to express itself. Novel professions like stand up comedy, makeup blogging and other
    underrated passions can find a destination and voice on this virtual stage. Let’s discover ourselves in this changed
    world through a changed medium.

Virtual world has opened all the doors for us to creep in and soar high, the time may be infertile for
external ventures but mind it , virtual world is all the more high in its spirit. So, don’t miss this golden
opportunity!

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5 Life transforming Quotes

All of us are looking for the best philosophy which could transform our lives and lead us to the path of success and happiness. The philosophies are many but they are complex and hard to understand. To say a lot in few words is what creativity is all about. People who have tasted success know that in order to understand life, one must always return to the basic principles which govern this world. Our questions may vary in nature but whether we are seeking success or an astounding career or the perfect relationship, all we desire is a happy and fulfilling life. Today I would like to share with all of you these powerful quotes that helped me sail through life and transformed the way I look at life. The words are few but the impact they had on me was life transforming. So hold on to your seat belt because here comes some powerful insight that will shake up your life.“What you seek is seeking you”~ Rumi

We always think that what we desire to become is out of reach and feel fearful of following our dreams because we think that it is only we who have to find our way towards that desired job or relationship but very few of us know that when we identify ourselves with a job, we find us sharing something common with it and we imagine ourselves a part of it. Similarly, the desired job is also having a space which is just meant for us. What we know is that we are moving towards it but what we don’t know is that job or that relationship is moving towards us with the same speed because we complete each other .

I complete that job and the job completes me. So, we must never doubt our dreams and desires because it is not just us who are moving towards it. Remember the dialogue “Tum jis cheez ko shiddat se paana chahte ho, kayanaat usse tumse milane ki saajish krti hai” “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why?”~Mark Twain

We clearly remember the day we are born but the sad part is that we forget why? The moment we are born, the society throws us into a bind chaotic valley and all we know about ourselves at the end is that we were born on this day and died on other day.This is all we know about ourselves, we never question that why am I here? What is the part that I can play? Why the world needs me? It is not what we do but in what we put our life that matters. I remember a mystic saying that when a cricketer plays a shot, he just puts the ball in a specific direction, it may seem petty but imagine how he puts his entire life into that single ball and that’s what makes him a master of the game.No work is small or big, do whatever you do but put your life into it. Know what is needed or what you desire to do and just get involved into it and that day you will know why are you here. “To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong”~ Yogi Rao Sahab

Creativity needs courage because it brings to life something which was’nt there before and what is new will never be understood so easily, people will doubt us, they may disapprove of our new ideas . Its not what people think of us but it is what we think of ourselves that determines our success, if we stop being creative just because it is not conforming to the society, then we can never make a unique space for ourselves. Michael Jackson is a legend not because he did what society wanted him to do but he did leave a mark because he never gave his way to fear and did what he wanted to do. He never judged his creativity, so he was never wrong.So, don’t judge your capability on the faulty scale of societal expectations. ”Whenever you find yourself on the side of majority, it is time to pause and reflect”¬Mark Twain

It is a trend to follow the common path because we feel secure but what we lose in the process is our uniqueness. All of us are irreplaceable because each one of us have a unique purpose whether big or small, if our purpose is unique so is our DNA and so are we then how is it possible that a bunch of people are doing the same thing again and again. So, the next time you find yourself doing something which many have done before, then try to reflect that is it the thing that you were really meant for you. In a world like ours where life has so much to offer, why pick the same cup again and again and if that is the thing you wish to do, then why do the same thing in the same way? “The only thing worse than being blind is to have sight and no vision”¬ Helen Keler

Those who are physically blind feel that they are restricted but those like us who have sight are no better because our sight is so limited that we are no better than blind. All we think about is what I need now, we never dare to go beyond our physical needs. I have seen people who are ready to bargain their talents with a glittery opportunity because it pays them well because all we think about is today. How many of us think that what it is that I want to be remembered for? How many of us see what others dont see about us? How many of us actually believe that we are as good as those who are successful? The reason why dreams appear unreal to us is because we are afraid of the distance between reality and vision and like scared children we just look at what is just present around us.

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What Team India says about Personal Branding?

Personal Branding begins and ends with authenticity and this is true for our players who are not afraid to be themselves on the field. All are masters of the art but they love doing the same thing in their own way. Who could match the poetry like game of Rohit, the hit man? Or can there be someone as cool as MS in midst of intense game or who could play with same aggression as kohli to the very last ball? Branding lesson to be learnt: Be authentic in what you do or say!

Personal Branding is about consistency, about proving your truth time and again, living it and breathing it till it becomes an inevitable part of you. Who could better explain this than masters Rohit and Kohli, consistently scoring centuries and half centuries without fail and buzzing the score box with their power. Proving everyday that they are best at what they do! Branding lesson to be learnt: Be consistent in what you do!

Personal Branding is about uniqueness, to show how different are you from the other or how differently you could do the same thing. A famous cricketer once said for Kohli that he does everything a little better than the rest and this becomes his uniqueness. Lets talk about another guy who never feels ashamed to be himself and has a swag about himself which makes him the ‘coolest ‘ guy of the team. He comes with a natural ease, takes on a flight of sixes and goes back with an unapologetic attitude, saying” its me”! He is none another than Mr. Pandya. Branding lesson to be learnt: Do the same old thing in your own unique way and style.

Personal Branding means to redefine yourself and emerging out as a boss when the time is right. Its about seizing time and space, drawing out your own stage when opportunity hits. In midst of doubting minds , Jadeja stands true to the statement, he proved that when the time is right, you will get to know who the hell am I. Branding lesson: When life gives you opportunity, make your brand stand out, show your power and stuff you are really made of! Never miss opportunities as they come in few! When we talk of Personal Branding, it is not an instinctive process but something that has to be realized, strategized and developed. It is trying out new things and not simply going for hit and trial, it is about devising and who can be a better example than the ‘ man with golden arm’, the mastermind , Bumrah who with a smile on his face sweeps off the players from their feet and is a source of fear for many. They rightly say that when Bumrah is around the corner, you cant escape, forget sixes, scoring singles becomes a mighty task! Bumrah teaches us that there is nothing more captivating than a working mind. Branding lesson: Go for Branding in a strategic way and not just hit and trial.

Confidence is the chariot of Branding, the believe you have in yourself and how well you are at what you do makes your Brand stand out. What makes MS the unfading star is his control over the game, his expertise and years of hard work. Nothing in the world comes without perseverance and expertise, not even an image. The image you build must have your scars . As a famous cricketer once said for him, when MS is in the game, the game is not over!! Branding lesson: Be confident in what you do and confidence comes from expertise and hard work.

Relationships say a lot about you as a brand, the way you treat people and what depth of connection you have with others determines the quality of your life. It is in the consistency of relationships and what we do for others which makes all the difference. Remembering the time when MS gave space for Kohli to expand his wings and soar high in the sky to this date where we see kohli looking up with reverence to Captain Cool is the most beautiful transition we have ever seen . Their roles changed, but their bond remains intact. Branding lesson to be learnt: Value relationships above everything!

At last but not the least, the only thing that can make us an immortal brand ,which is not bounded by time and space is by having a heart that burns with passion which becomes our only truth, where each day you feel like its a beginning, when life ends but your passion and your life purpose remains untouched by age and reason. Those precious tears on face of MS shows us his greatness as a player, years have gone by, hair has grown grey but sun of his passion and the fire inside his heart never sets down. Years of playing is not able to put off the desire to play just one more day! Branding lesson to be learnt: To be a strong brand, have burning passion for something in life.

Just like in the game of Cricket, Personal Branding too involves lows and highs, sometimes you are able to prove your statement, sometimes you lose. Life is not perfect, so sometimes in spite of putting so much effort in our game or our brand, we may fail at market or stage. But just like MS, even in midst of doubting minds, you must love what you are here for, cherish your uniqueness when nobody does it, never change your game if it doesn’t go well with the environment, work on it , make it your strength because one day environment shall suit you. People change their game to adapt their environment and legends work on their game till the moment environment changes for them. Keep doing what your heart burns for and try to become a better version of yourself each day. The best lesson I have learnt from world of Cricket is to never question life because it is its nature to be unfair. What seems obvious is not a surety but only a possibility , as kohli said that 45 min of bad luck puts us out of the game , same goes the story of branding, a bad day and your image shall get tinted but what you pick from those broken pieces is too a measure of your durability as a Brand.

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Whose driving your car?

There are two kinds of people in life, one who prefer sitting on passenger seat and then those who love sitting on the driver’s seat. Which one of them are you? Don’t you think we human beings are always conflicted when it comes to our driving force, whether we are capable of pulling ourselves or is it life which is pulling us. Too much of confusion. I have seen some people who consider themselves responsible for every single thing that happens and then there are those who hate responsibility and find it easy to put the entire blame on God or Government.

Sometimes I think about great people like Mother Teresa or Mahatma Gandhi or Rosa Park who brought about a change in their world. It seems as if these people were different from us in some way. Why it happens that only few of us reach the height of excellence? Initially I thought that people are different but you know the reality is just the other way round, we are very much alike. Then the question is what is it that makes us appear so different?

There are a variety of people we meet everyday, some are of the view that life is what controls us, whatever happens with you is fated and will happen with you no matter how hard you try to escape it. I have seen such people behaving like victims of fate! ‘O life did this to me’ or ‘I am ill fated’. I have seen these people waiting outside the Astrologer’s home just to know what they must be doing next. Again there are those who think that they get to decide what happens with them. They love sitting on the drivers seat and they spare life for all mishaps. After thinking about it for a long period of time, I have reached the conclusion that our perspective about life makes all the difference.

Recently I was listening to a psychic who was talking about Astrology and how it impacts mankind, with so much ease he summed up the concept by saying that planets will affect you till the time you allow them to affect you. If I think that so and so planet is transitioning and such and such thing will happen, I have already decided for myself and that will surely happen. I can’t control my laughter when people say that they are aggressive because Mars is strong in their chart! I am not against the Science of Astrology and I too believe in it but the only influence planets have on us is that they either accelerate our success rate or slow it down but they are not going to work for us, efforts need to be put from our side and universe shall garnish only the result of such efforts, either speeding it up or slowing it down. We don’t listen to Astrologers to predict our future but to know that if universal situations are not suitable then what efforts should be put in to nullify the bad energy. This is the correct way of looking at Astrology. We cannot allow things to happen to us. Universe is doing its job, you need to do yours.

I remember a story of two boys who were predicted by a known psychic to top in their respective classes and as a result of the prediction, they had left putting efforts in their work and as a result of which they failed. Like many other people, they too had put all the blame on the psychic but never realised that universe only backs us when we put in the efforts and if we just let it go then nothing can make us succeed. Thoughts are so powerful that the moment we decide to think differently, our life changes. At the end of the day, our thoughts decide the course of our lives.

What Mahatma Gandhi did was next to impossible but see it happened. It happened because he thought it was possible or he was capable of bringing about a change. There is a famous story that goes around Edison, for making bulb he tried approximately 500 elements that could be used as its filament and then failed. Once he was asked by a reporter that how bad he felt that he had spent so many useful hours for nothing. Many would have agreed to what the reporter had said and think it to be absolutely true and many of us would have felt disappointed but you know what Edison said, he said that he was fortunate that he tried 500 elements, identified them and now he knows that these 500 elements cannot be used as a filament.

Just a change in perspective, and our lives shall change many folds. I have seen people crying over their fate and doing nothing about it, it is purely pathetic. Life only provides us with raw materials but what we make out of it is totally our call! Suppose some injustice happens with a stranger and you did’nt like it and it pissed you off then what would you do? Would you raise your voice or just leave the situation, most of us would choose option B. Who are we to them and what can we do? Such questions we ask ourselves almost each day of our life and how we react to it makes all the difference. If I think I can make a difference, then surely I can. People differ not because what they do or what life does with them but because what they think. If we take the drivers seat, we are not sure what kind of roads we may encounter but when we are driving, we will be able to cross them successfully. We will surely become less fearful because we are holding the steering wheel and we can turn it in any direction and we can decide the speed. But if we are on the passenger’s seat, we would be more anxious because we don’t know how to drive and the outside conditions are driving us nuts, then we shall only cry for “help, help and help”..

There are 2 kinds of people which I already mentioned , one who think that they are the drivers ,who take control of their lives and consider themselves responsible for what happens with them in life. (Internal locus of control) Such people are capable of bringing about change in life and take an active role in life. They are less affected by outside circumstances. On the other hand there are those who love passengers seat and think that external forces control them , they believe that life is driving them and they are just passengers. (External locus of Control), Such people are passive in their approach and are strong believers of fate. They think of themselves as incapable of bringing about a change.

In order to provide a clear picture of the concept, lets jump into an elaborate comparison. Lets consider 2 persons namely A and B.

A Have high external locus of control Strong believer of fate Dislike taking responsibility for their actions Lose morale easily Fear of dreaming big Fear of exploring new paths Lack confidence Never take risks and initiatives Never think out of box Go with the flow approach

B

Have high internal locus of control

Believe in themselves

Take responsibility for their actions

Are self motivated

Love dreaming big

Often walk on unexplored paths

Have high self confidence

Take risks and initiatives

Nurture new and unique ideas

Creative approach

So i would end with a question for you to decide that whether you want to drive your life or allow life to drive you?

 

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My Body, My Rules!

Life is such an ironical tale that the subtle things we tend to ignore are the ones which weigh the most. A few days back, a similar incident transformed into a big issue which is troubling my heart for past two weeks. I was doing my work and there was someone talking of some girl. I was not a part of the conversation but the voices coming up weren’t able to escape my ears. I was not totally attentive and rather I was passively listening to the conversation. I heard that the girl was beautiful and had fairy like eyes. From the description, I was able to sum her up as a fair, independent and charismatic young lady. Then suddenly there was an obstruction, the tone of the voice changed and it was like a speedy vehicle was suddenly given a powerful brake. The word ‘but’ hit my ear and after that what I heard was no longer some ordinary discussion, not even a national issue but something of a vast magnitude. I heard that the girl was ‘fat’, I know you would say that now I am being over – dramatic but if you continue listening to me, you will realize that we had actually underestimated the harm it poses to humanity. The girl was rejected by him because she was overweight. The boy demanded photographs one after another in different poses and considered her not suitable for a wife because her contour was not confirming to the set standard.

I realized the illusion we all are living in. Just imagine a fine talented and educated woman was rejected just because of her body contour. Just imagine the impact of those words on the mind of that innocent girl. If we put ourselves in that place then we would realize that how painful a process it is when a person feels ashamed of their own body. Thousands of good virtues faded in front of the artificial light of the body.

Another day while I was strolling in the park, I heard a child sobbing all by himself. I asked him gently, “what happened to you child?”  he replied back, “I left my football team because they all teased me that I was too thin and that I dont have the strength to even lift a football”. The words coming from his immature mouth pierced my heart and suddenly the terms ‘fat’ and ‘thin’ started appearing more obnoxious than they ever sounded. I felt disgusted that the size of our body is deciding the course of our life!
These subtle stories though simple in appearance are raising heavy questions. Why is a fat person assumed to be a poor dancer? Why is an over weight girl rejected for marriage? Why a malnourished and skinny model is admired? Why does the sweet post maternal fat keeps the young mothers awake? In fact, why does the word ‘fat’ or ‘thin’ exist at all?
Does all these things appear insignificant? Am I truly being hyperbolic? I don’t think so! These questions further are raising a more fundamental question, ‘are we reducing weight to get ‘healthy’, or to ‘please the society’?’ Many of us didn’t even know that the two things are different from each other.

Let us consider an example, suppose there is a girl who is overweight and there are two friends namely ‘A’ and ‘B’. One day ‘A’ said “Tina you must lose weight otherwise you will become susceptible to other diseases”. Following her, ‘B’ said, ”Tina you must lose weight otherwise you will not be selected in the dance competition”. Both the questions aim at encouraging Tina to lose weight but don’t you think they are poles apart from each other when it comes to their approach. After experiencing these hurtful incidents, I realized that the boundary between what is healthy and what is socially acceptable is getting merged. What we are doing today is not for ourselves but because we wish to confirm to the set standards of society.

It pains me that how carelessly we dart such insensitive remarks with so much ease without realizing that these words which are insignificant to us may actually mean a world to others. The worst thing in life is to make someone feel less of themselves. Just imagine the pain in the eyes of that girl who is not accepted because she is not as society wants her to be. One day these stereotypes shall grow into poor self esteem, lack of confidence and other psychological disturbances which will affect our lives every single day.

The demarcation between ‘healthy advice’ and ‘body shaming’ is hazy and many innocent people are suffering from it . Health has nothing to do with fat or thin. For me, health is when you are happy with your life.
People won’t stop saying things and we cannot stop them as well. All I believe is in loving your body unconditionally because only you should be the critic of your life and your body is not out of proportion but a variation which is like a new shade. For others to love you, first dare to love yourself.

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Uncolour

We all must have heard people telling their children “Don’t drink too much tea” or “Don’t go out in the sun“. Parents say this not because they are protective of their child’s skin but because they are afraid of the skin colour getting darker. Even the celebrities are openly endorsing ‘Fairness’ creams. Just imagine what will happen one day if a commercial pops up ‘Change your eyes from black to purple or black to blue’. You may call it absurdity but that is what we are doing. Its time for reality check, We don’t change our eyes because of a certain colour because they cant be changed and if one has a certain shade of eyes, do we make fun of it? Then what happens when it comes to skin colour? Absurdity is that we occupy a world where we are measured in terms of complexion! We have segregated people like genres into ‘blacks’, ‘whites’ and what not!

One day I was having a chat with my niece who enlightened me that in her school it was even better because they had 3 incredible categories, ‘Black”, ‘White’ and ‘Brown’. Such novelty is commendable! Just imagine a 8 year old life living with such core stereotypes, Being bullied at school and looked down upon because of her colour.

Something which is determined by a pigment is now deciding the course of our lives!. We live in a world where are Calibre and virtues are overshadowed by our skin colour. Psychology says that black – white stereotype is still present in our subconscious even if we do not admit it consciously. Infact, there are times when we are not even aware of the fact that we hold prejudice against black people. It is not that we are to be blamed, but it is the result of the attitudes that were transferred from generation to generation and has become something very instinctive or something which comes naturally to us. Stereotypes are hard to break but the only way to tackle with them is to become conscious of the fact that they exist. To doubt their existence is sheer ignorance.

I hope these questions will help us to accept our hidden attitudes

  • Do we feel more attracted to a white baby than a black baby?
  • Do we consider the fair coloured to be more clean in comparison to the dark complexioned?
  • If given a choice, which colour would you choose?

The purpose of these questions is not to embarss someone or make someone feel low about themselves. The logic is simple, if we wish to solve an issue, the primary step is acceptance. I know that there are millions of beautiful souls out there who love genuinely and it is not their fault. Something which has come from collective consciousness and is part of our subconscious is not defining us. We don’t like discriminating but we as individuals are helpless, because somewhere our subconscious makes us do things which we don’t wish to do. In order to cure a disease, we need to accept that we are ill, then only the medicine works lest everything goes in vain. Also the other way round, even people with darker complexion have a natural tendency to feel low about them. We must remember this that there are people who have successfully gone beyond these stigmas, but there are also many who are still under its clutches.

Let us turn our discussion to the problems we are facing due to colour discrimination. The most upsetting thing about this stereotype is that it has reached the mind of the most impressionable lives and that is our children. They face bullying and are treated badly because they have a darker shade of skin. They develop inferiority complex and become socially withdrawn which makes them more susceptible to diseases like depression and anxiety. They lose confidence and become uncomfortable in their own skin. There is nothing worst than making a person feel inferior just because god has made them in a certain way. There are extremely talented actors out there but just because of their colour and face structure, they are rejected. They are tagged with names like ‘Brownie’ or ‘Chocolate’. Till date many Indian girls are rejected for marriage and thought to be unfit for it if they are dark in colour. Even in some families , the fairer child receives more attention than a darker one. Even the endorsements projected on television make us feel that if one is dark then they are incomplete or it is something which needs to be corrected. All Bollywood songs are written in praise of fairness.

I recently heard the story of ‘ Priyanka Chopra’ who was bullied for her darker tone and as a result of it, she used to eat her tiffin alone.I am reminded of a similar incident which happened with my younger daughter. She is a passionate cricket player and cricket being a field sport, she was always in close aquaintance with the sun. As a mother I was proud of nuturing her passion every single day of her life. With course of time her complexion started suffering due to long hours spent in the territory of the sun. For me the situation was like diamond which was getting polished but society failed to notice what I had noticed as a mother. What others saw was that she was getting dark and used to ask me to make her restrict her hours on the field or make her wear ‘Ubtan’, so she could be saved from getting dark. That day I realised that colour discrimination is not functioning on the surface level of things but has reached the deepest core of our humanity where it is interfering with our genuinely borne passions. The colour of our skin is more important than our ambitions or our purpose of life. This is where we are standing today!

Till this very day, many so called ‘Whites’ consider their supremacy over Indians or Africans because of their skin colour. This is nothing to be proud of . Those who are proud of their skin colour must be proud of the amount of nonsense they are nurturing and pouring within. Will you discard an iPhone because it has a black body? Same is the story of humans, the cover may be black but what is inside is worth millions, you never know! There have been so many actresses who in spite of being dark are extremely beautiful. If we make choices by colour, we would discard IPhone to buy an ordinary Samsung phone just because we don’t like its colour. Though IPhone is black but it has a hell of features and has a height which no other phone has ever been able to reach. So, dont make such big blunders.

History is a witness that great people or leaders do not originate because of their skin colour but because of their virtues. There have been people who have not only accepted the situation but have made a conscious effort to change it. Nelson Mandela or Rosa Park were ones who refused to confirm to the conventions of the world. They were living examples of the fact that in order to gain respect in the world, self respect and self love is a must. Till the time the dark complexioned people wont accept themselves and will not love the way they have been designed, they will always  feel less of themselves and this shall make them slaves of the white.

Barack Obama, the black president who ruled the white nation! There is no powerful colour than the colour of authenticity and confidence. Body colour only distracts but if a person is authentic, even the subconscious will drop its weapon before it. The only person who can make us feel bad is, ‘I’, ‘Me’ and ‘Myself’. No one should be entitled to make you feel less except yourself. World will accept you when you accept yourself. Let world relay commercials but you don’t pay heed to it, you always have the choice.
Your skin colour must not interfere with your true passions and if it is then its time for a change in perspective.

With my experience in life, I have gathered that it is never easy to change society, people will continue putting you down on one pretext or the other. Skin colour is just an excuse. As a person if you don’t respect yourself, then don’t expect others to do it. Love yourself unconditionally . One day when you will be soaring high in the sky, then no one will bother to look at your face or try to lecture you on your complexion. There is no powerful colour than the true colour of your soul which never allow such trivialities to let them down. Your skin colour will soon fade behind the brightness of your talents and shining light of your soul. Don’t be distracted by it, those who live by it would also fade soon!

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The Muted Love

The alarm rang, Raj woke up at first call, he looked out of the window, the sky was all blue black with mixed shades of yellow and orange, he could see the sun peeping and making its way through stubborn darkness. His face was covered with a gentle smile, the day was special to him, he was going to meet the love of his life. It was not the first date they were to have together but that day it was special. He sprung up from his bed, opened his cupboard and took out his black coat. With every inch of the coat coming out, his smile grew bigger and bigger. It was his beloved’s favourite coat and he thought that it would be the best thing to put on. He was excited but a bit nervous too. He remembered how she had called him ‘chivalrous’ when he had worn the same coat on their first date.

Memories had overpowered him and with moist eyes, he went to the washroom. When he came out and dressed himself, he tried to bend on one knee and looking in the mirror practiced proposing her. He rehearsed it a couple of times and when he thought it was perfect, he took his hat and moved out of the house. He thought of buying a bouquet for her as she was fond of red roses. He brought some red cherries for her as well. With joy in his heart, he continued his journey. People said that he was mad in love, and there was nothing wrong about it . He often said that common sense and love does’nt work together.

Soon he reached his destination, he was imagining her grey eyes and her love stricken whitish pale face. Suddenly he became nervous and stumbled over a stone. He entered this place, it was full of other people, too populated but yet filled with blissful silence. He went to her, she was waiting for her since morning but she remained mute. He talked to her for hours and she listened patiently without interrupting. He then lied beside her and wished that she would initiate the conversation of love. She was next to him yet seemed so far. Her coldness never froze his warm heart. After a long healthy talk, he got up and failing to break her mute, he placed the bouquet on her Grey Grave, while other graves whispered in hush hush. He kissed her grave and said, ”Happy Anniversary Sweetheart, I Love You forever”. He then took his wooden stick and walked back towards home while his grey hair shined when sun rays were falling upon him.

Women are like ‘wine’, they make everything look beautiful but remain consciously ‘unnoticed’. Their presence is like ‘magic’, they spell around ‘love and joy’, as she goes about ‘unappreciated’. Her worth is only felt when she is gone. Make her feel loved because she Deserves It! There is no one in the world who can love you like a Woman! Appreciate the ‘Finest Creation of God’, Celebrate Woman! A Very Happy Women’s Day. Love the Women of your life and know their worth before they are gone.

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50 Shades of Love

“Not again mom, i am getting the same tiffin for past one week, i am tired of this. Look at Rahul’s mom, she always comes up with something new”. Her words reverberated in the room and Shreya with down casted eyes and trembling lips said “Sweetheart, you know I leave at 7 am and this week was a hectic one. I hope you understand“. The girl frowned and faked a smile. “You do this all the time, I think you need to be clear on your priorities, you don’t even have the time to bid goodbye when we go to school, what else can I expect”. She walked out of the room like a flash of light. Her words had pierced Shreya’s heart, she could feel a burning sensation in her head, she felt like a defeated mother. She was drowning in the pool of guilt, the guilt of not keeping the promise she had made to her daughter when she was born. The words of her daughter were stuck in her ears as if they were hitting her ear again and again. She was not feeling the floor and her did not realize that she had reached the window. There she saw a dozen of martyrs( mothers and housewives) who had killed their own passion to nurture those of their children. For a moment, she felt like a defeated mother. She closed her eyes and her eyes had refused to hold the guilt inside them and tears poured down. Rivers of pain ran down her cheeks.

“Should ambition die for care to live?” or “Should an entrepreneur die for a mother to live? ” She wanted to seek an answer outside but it was to be found inside. She wiped her tears, got ready for work and as she was leaving, her eyes fell upon a troubled neighbour-hood where a loud voice was coming out, “Mom, please dress up properly and please don’t embarrass me at the parents teacher meet. Look at Rishabh’s mom, how she carries herself.  I sometimes wish that you were a working woman“ Suddenly her eyes started glittering as if she had found something she was searching for. She had found her answer.

That evening, Shreya had come back early from work, she had prepared lots of goodies for her daughter. “Come on sweetheart, look what i have prepared for you.” The daughter ate the goodies with immense delight. “Thank you mommy, you are the best“ she said. “You are welcome my love, now since you have eaten the goodies, i want you to go to your room and study for atleast 2 hours and you know i will help you out in the process”. The daughter’s eyes twinkled with amazement as if it was a strange perception. “mom i was going to play“, she said. “Please honey just do as i say”, replied Shreya. “why are you behaving so unusually mom, you sound different. you never force me to study“, she said with a puzzled face. “But Rahul is also studying at this time“, Shreya interrupted. “What does Rahul have to do with me? He is not ‘Me’ mom, why are you comparing me with him?” she said with anger in her eyes. “When you cant be Rahul, then honey, why do you expect me to be like Rahul’s mother? Don’t you think this is a bit unfair!”

Tears ran down the cheeks of the girl as if she came into knowing-ness from a zone of unknowing-ness. She at once rushed to her mother, hugged her and said sorry. “Its alright honey, one day you will be a mommy too. If a lady happens to be a housewife, people will judge her. And if she happens to be a working woman, she would be judged too. Sweetheart, love is shapeless, it has no rules, Some mothers express it through delicious food while others express it through the work values, and the trust we put in you. Whatever i may do, people will judge me, So i do what i can do. I am not a capable cook, i don’t know how to express my love through food, i am just like Rahul’s mom, but my Shade of Love is different from hers” .