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Hat prettier than face

Social Etiquette is a standard way of behaving in some social situation. The way we eat , the way we sit and walk are all determined by social etiquette. But the question is, why do we need this Etiquette? The answer is simple, Because we have forgotten our true nature of being human. That is why we need a rule book to act according to it. Social Etiquette are ‘Man –  Made Rules’, which are made to control man and make him different from the animal world. But we were not born with these, we were born with natural values like honesty, truthfulness and so on . Such etiquette’ were only there to decorate our basic nature. But as usual we humans always move in wrong direction and we have started giving more focus to social etiquette’ while compromising our basic values.

Everyday new rules are being added to the market and we are madly running after them. We all do make up, right? What will happen if we only look after our cosmetics and not our skin? We will become artificial . We will always have to wear the mask of makeup before going out and in fact we will be hiding our true self. But if we look after our skin, we will glow naturally and just a touch up will do wonders  to our natural beauty. This is exactly what we need to do to focus on our natural values and then using ‘Etiquette’ to make them glitter more.

Here are some questions to analyze our own self and have a reality check.

  •  How many of us talk softly but criticize others?
  •  Do all people who wear the best of clothes have the best of heart?
  • When we ask a person how are they, do we really mean it?
  • How many of us get up early on Sundays and if not then why do we blame people who get up late from Monday to Saturday?
  • How many of us say good morning to our loved ones before sending a wish in a whats App group?
  • How many of us focus more on crockery than quality of food during a feast?
  • How many of us feel gratitude while saying ‘thank you’?
  • How many of us really feel bad when we say ‘ sorry ‘ and really mean our sorry ?

If the answer to most of the questions is “ NO “, then my friends, we are on a ‘Wrong Track’.

There is nothing wrong in following ‘Etiquette’,  but we cannot compromise with our basic values .

Here are few things that we do everyday unknowingly when we compromise our basic values for Etiquette such as:

  • Doing our prayers every single day but refusing to help beggars.
  • Saluting a corrupt person who holds a high position.
  • Holding a PhD degree, but throwing trash on roads.
  • Passing gifts of each other on festivals.
  • Preferring a lie over painful truth.
  • Talking of compassion and ill treating maidservants.
  • Talking of equality but most of the time men paying the bills.

This is what we are moving towards . We are living in a world where we are compromising truth for flattery, honesty for diplomacy and compassion for a practical life. Yes by doing all these things we will be achieving a lot of wealth and opportunities but will be losing on the way god has made us. You don’t have to learn Etiquette because they come naturally with a good heart.

These are some points to be kept in mind and taken care of always:

  • If you want to be courteous, you will have to love other beings including poor and animals
  • If you wish to speak beautifully then first we need to think beautifully.
  • If you don’t repeat a mistake, then you must speak sorry.
  • If you are grateful , then say thank you.
  • If you really want to know, then ask how the other person is.
  • If you wish to look beautiful then focus on creating a beautiful heart.
  • Offer gifts from your heart , even if they are cheap.
  • Have a exciting life than faking it on social media.
  • If we leave our values and give all our attention to our etiquette, then we are only pretending to be humans in body of animals.

‘So nature and etiquette must always go hand in hand’.

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Pinky The Mouse


Once there lived a little mouse whose name was Pinky. She was a beautiful brown mouse. She was nine years old and was turning ten. One day, her father sadly said, “Pinky, my dear, I love you but I am so sorry. People now don’t throw away food so we won’t be able to celebrate your birthday”. Pinky was heartbroken but she was quiet and didn’t want to ask for anything unreasonable.

She lived with her father who was the head of the mouse clan and her friends and family. Pinky was very clean and hard working.

She was also kind to the others although sometimes they used to tease her. She used to go to lots of human cottages nearby to bring food for her family and friends. One day she went to a cottage for the first time. There she discovered the front door was locked so she tried to go through the gap , but there was a net, so she couldn’t get in. She was really puzzled so she went around the house three or four times. Then she found a key to the house so she opened it and went in and walked a bit and she saw a huge table.

She climbed up the table and there she saw a letter and was puzzled about who it was for, but then she noticed it was written to “whoever passes by”. So Pinky opened the letter and in the letter it said, “We had a wonderful party just the day before and there were a lot of leftovers, but I became very sick, so my husband and I have gone to the seaside, so I have left the key out for the people who collect trash”.

Pinky was surprised but she was a curious mouse. To her great SURPRISE she saw tasty cupcakes , cupcakes and lollipops and so many more goodies. Pinky was delighted when she saw this, because she could then celebrate her birthday party. She danced until her legs ached a lot but she was too happy to think of it.

She scurried back to her cozy mouse hole and stood up on a stone and said , “ May I have your attention please? I would like to tell everybody that I can celebrate my birthday party. And I would like everyone to come”.

Then they all went to the cottage to get some food. They said sorry to Pinky for teasing her all the time, because she was kind she said it was all right. Then they all feasted and said ‘PINKY’ was the HERO of the day and the birthday girl. HAPPY BIRTHDAY PINKY.

Here’s a little about our shining star Joanna Mathews

Joanna just turned 10 years old. She is home schooled and loves reading and writing. She spends most of her day reading and playing with her sisters! She particularly loves adventure stories. Her favorites collections are the Secret Seven and Famous Five. Her favorite hang out is the library.

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Ambitious Women -A Force to Reckon with

There’s No Force more powerful than an Ambitious Woman with a Vision.

In recent times, a lot of women achieving in their fields, but what I have been pondering upon is, is that all we have?

Most women are just as ambitious as men when they begin their careers, but become so wearied by fighting against multiple structural and experiential barriers to their success that this ambition often fades.

Most surveys reveal that there is a difference in the levels of ambition in the proportion of men and women aiming for the top. What is surprising is that, they don’t start off that way. The surveys were done for various professions and it was found that both men and women have absolutely equal levels of ambition and want to make it to top in equal numbers.

While men’s ambition increased with time, women’s decreased and the reason is not associated with wanting to have kids, or to stay home and look after them. It’s related to not having support, mentors or role models to make it to the top, and the subtle biases against women that lead to their choices. It is at times the frustration of proving oneself time and again for something frivolous. Also, society at times, labels and judges women who are ambitious. It is convinenient to walk a path of conformity.

I believe there needs to be a considerable level of awareness that needs to reach out to these women and it’s our responsiblity to ensure this happens. In a recent meet in Delhi, where the top women of Corporate India discussed on diversity and inclusion, Ms Naina Lal Kidwai, stated that women should feel proud that they are ambitious. They should not shy away from it.

And also I don’t think ambitious women should feel shy about admitting to a desire to get on, succeed, even to win – and it’s time to get it out in the open, without fear of becoming target practice.

A lot is being done to break the Glass Ceiling. The government and corporates are working towards diversity and inclusion. The numbers show a positive trend. However, certain class of companies have a women director form within the family to comply to the Company’s Act of 2013. The objective of including women to increase diversity is defeated as these women are notional heads. A number of forums are supporting  and developing women leaders across the county. The objective of these forums is to prepare women to fulfil these director level positions. Unfortunately, organizations are not willing to take in a new breed of directors and hence a few women are serving on multiple boards or someone from within the family is present.

Real diversity and inclusion will happen when women who are deserving are given the roles to ensure diversity. For that, the women need to

  • be proud that they are ambitious for themselves,
  • have a larger vision and share that vision,
  • own their achievemets  and be proud of their achievements and accomplishments,
  • think of at scaling and growing,
  • avoid walking the path of conformity and give in or give up on their dreams
  • fight the battle within.

To a more diverse and inclusive India….