Tag: Commitment

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Relationships

When it comes to success, people may talk about hard work, perseverance and determination but most of the time we forget that the most successful people of the world were those who had the most profound relationships. Relationships are subtle things, they don’t get noticed much but are a huge factor in success stories. We encounter all types of relationship in our lives, some carry us forward while others teach us precious lessons. Relationships make us strong. We are dependent beings, none of us work in isolation. Science proves that relationships are not only important for success but for longetivity as well. They juice up our lives and give us a reason to live. The most dry people are those who don’t value relationships. There has not been one success story where relationships were not valued.

Let me just tell you how relationships work and how they are direct staircase for success. Like it is said, that if you wish to go fast, you may walk alone and if you wish to walk far, then walk together. Relationships make us fearless. Each and every action of our lives is conducted for our loved ones. They give us reason to work. We encounter many kinds of relationships. Strong bonds with the right kind of people adds spice to our lives. Some relationships come under the umbrella term of ‘Friendship’. Such bonds are priceless, for they see in us what we cant see for ourselves. I remember watching movie “M.S Dhoni”. Today we see ‘Dhoni’ as a legendary figure but what made him reach this height was not just hard work but the right kind of people who contributed to his success story at every step. When a person wins, it is not his own victory but it is also a win for all those people who strived to make that life succeed. Some helped him find a coach, some encouraged him at every step and that too with no ulterior motive.

Life can never be led in isolation, we all need support. Suppose I am blessed with a talent but I wont be able to realize it till others see that in me. It is only appreciation which will make me strive more and more. When we form strong bonds based on love, we come closer to our humanity. We cannot do great deeds if our emotional health is weak. Relationships nurture our emotional health because when we love, we are more human and when we are more human, the things we create are coming for a higher place which is bound to make you succeed. Relationships impact every aspect of our lives. A person coming from a dysfunctional home may be a genius but not happy, in spite of having the best of qualities, he wont be able to function because our lives are a reflection of our relationships. When all is not fine at home or with friends, nothing can be fine at workplace too. The frustration produced due to want of love and affection will ruin everything eventually.

Many people would argue with me that there are those who are self motivated and just like poison changes to medicine, they transform their broken relationships to success but that is just half of the story. Broken relationships may motivate you for a short period of time, you may loose yourself for a short period of time, you may turn into a cold hearted monster but at the end of the day such people always wish to go back home because the achievement they get is purely materialistic but there is a big hollow inside them. We define success in terms of fame or monetary gains, but for me the true essence of success lies when you can be understood by at least one person on this blue planet, when you are happy from inside and when you know that your life has been a contribution to humanity. The nature of relationships we may encounter may not always be present but what to pick them from it and to never close the gates of your heart is a sure short way to success. If you encounter a good relationship, then be rest assured that you have found the right kind of people and if you encounter bad relationships, then don’t get disheartened but see it from a fresh perspective that these are the people you need to avoid and be happy that you got a lesson but never ever close your heart.
Our world is a mess and we may blame Science or Technology for it. As I said before that relationships are subtle things and we tend to ignore them. We don’t see them apparently but if they are faulty then they are capable enough of destroying every aspect of you life and we won’t even come to know! Never underestimate the impact of relationships.

I remember a story of a girl, she was a pretty capable girl, blessed with multitude of talents. I remember her getting selected for every interview she faced. We had a lot many expectations from her. In spite of being so good at work and having sound understanding, she was not able to continue with any job for more than a month. This was strange! This happened for two years at stretch and then she received a marriage proposal and we thought that her good nature and compassion will never make her fail in any relationship she might form.. It was not even a year when both husband and wife parted. This was shocking! She then went to a psychologist who analysed that all the troubles in her professional life was because she shared an uncordial relationship with her step mother and in order to lead a successful life, she will have to mend to her relationship with her. Bad relationships are like slow poisoning, they will eventually kill you!

We say that we are not happy because life has become stressful but just like an underlying symptom, it is nothing but poor relationships that is making us go nuts! Each family member being highly active on social media but has nothing to share with each other, parents not having time to talk their kids because they have work to do! No more pillow fights between siblings because Netflix is important first, not meeting our friends because we have other important things to catch up and couples living in a sort of marital contract where they have no time to share sweet glances of love All these subtle deficiencies of our lives take ugly forms which come in the form of bullying, extramarital affair, depression and crime.

I would like to end the discussion here by saying that Relationships, either bad or good are a part of healthy living because they are a proof of our humanity but silence is devastating. So never close your heart to relationships. First try to understand the importance of relationship and then I will come back to you with exciting ways to attract the right kind of people!!

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The Muted Love

The alarm rang, Raj woke up at first call, he looked out of the window, the sky was all blue black with mixed shades of yellow and orange, he could see the sun peeping and making its way through stubborn darkness. His face was covered with a gentle smile, the day was special to him, he was going to meet the love of his life. It was not the first date they were to have together but that day it was special. He sprung up from his bed, opened his cupboard and took out his black coat. With every inch of the coat coming out, his smile grew bigger and bigger. It was his beloved’s favourite coat and he thought that it would be the best thing to put on. He was excited but a bit nervous too. He remembered how she had called him ‘chivalrous’ when he had worn the same coat on their first date.

Memories had overpowered him and with moist eyes, he went to the washroom. When he came out and dressed himself, he tried to bend on one knee and looking in the mirror practiced proposing her. He rehearsed it a couple of times and when he thought it was perfect, he took his hat and moved out of the house. He thought of buying a bouquet for her as she was fond of red roses. He brought some red cherries for her as well. With joy in his heart, he continued his journey. People said that he was mad in love, and there was nothing wrong about it . He often said that common sense and love does’nt work together.

Soon he reached his destination, he was imagining her grey eyes and her love stricken whitish pale face. Suddenly he became nervous and stumbled over a stone. He entered this place, it was full of other people, too populated but yet filled with blissful silence. He went to her, she was waiting for her since morning but she remained mute. He talked to her for hours and she listened patiently without interrupting. He then lied beside her and wished that she would initiate the conversation of love. She was next to him yet seemed so far. Her coldness never froze his warm heart. After a long healthy talk, he got up and failing to break her mute, he placed the bouquet on her Grey Grave, while other graves whispered in hush hush. He kissed her grave and said, ”Happy Anniversary Sweetheart, I Love You forever”. He then took his wooden stick and walked back towards home while his grey hair shined when sun rays were falling upon him.

Women are like ‘wine’, they make everything look beautiful but remain consciously ‘unnoticed’. Their presence is like ‘magic’, they spell around ‘love and joy’, as she goes about ‘unappreciated’. Her worth is only felt when she is gone. Make her feel loved because she Deserves It! There is no one in the world who can love you like a Woman! Appreciate the ‘Finest Creation of God’, Celebrate Woman! A Very Happy Women’s Day. Love the Women of your life and know their worth before they are gone.

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Climbing the Corporate Ladder as a woman

Most Indian women have an ‘Extremist’ approach to life. They wish to be either this way or that, but the matter of fact is that life always happens between the two extremes.The present scenario of Indian women is that, a good number of them are submissive and conditioned as per the expectations of society, They are rigidly attached to the duties which society assigns them and to step out of that conditioned life is not taken well by most of them because it has its set of consequences like the guilt which overpowers them. Psychology believes that if an action or behavior is rewarded or received as positive reinforcement, then the repetition of that particular behavior is more likely to happen and vice versa. Similarly, when women show a certain behavior which is different from the behavior expected from them, their ego produces guilt. They become victims of social criticism even if they are totally able to manage things well. Because of this negative reinforcement, they stop showing this behavior and high ambitions terrify them. On the other hand, women who are high in need of achievement are too aggressive . They are too attacked by pangs of guilt which makes them all the more aggressive and in the process they loose their originality. In both the cases, women are being affected by society, either they are working for or against society. In both ways, they are trying to prove a statement. But in order to lead a successful life, it is important that we remain unaffected by what society thinks of us but concentrate on what our inner self thinks of us. We must not allow our own intelligence to go against us. Guilt is nothing but our own faculties going against us. Instead use your intelligence to strike a balance between the two extreme approaches. Instead of searching an answer outside, its time to go inside.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/climbing-corporate-ladder-woman-tough-yes-impossible-renuka-ramnath

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Pioneers of Life

‘Get up Anjali, it’s 8 o’clock and you are still not awake, come on darling get up, oh gosh! This girl will turn me mad, get up you little ‘wretch’. Suddenly some footsteps were heard, it was Kabir who had entered the room. He was surprised to find his mother beating blankets which was void of its possessor. He said, “Mom, Anjali is not in the bed and why the hell you are beating that pillow”, to this mother replied “then where is that little wretch“. Kabir nodding his head said coolly, “She must be in the washroom and as usual she is late”. Both mother and Kabir came out of the room, the air of the room was a bit different today.

Suddenly out of no where a sound was heard of a steel hitting the marble. Kabir thinking of a thief rushed to the kitchen with a stick, mother too followed him, as he reached the kitchen, he saw something which made his stick fall to the ground.

It was a girl whom he recognized as his sister but something was different. Mother noticed she was wearing a beautiful blue top with denim, her hair was all properly tied up and her hands were holding something which produced a mixed feeling in the eyes of her mother, a sense of achievement and a feeling of loss at the same time.

She knew a phase was over and the moment she saw her grown up child, somewhere deep inside her heart, she felt as if nature had snatched something from her whom she thought was hers alone. She saw with painful eyes that Anjali was holding a Tiffin packed with lunch which her own hands had prepared. Mother passed the aluminium foil to her as if a baton was passed from a retiring leader to another and walked out of the kitchen. Seasons change, years change, day too changes to night.

If nothing ever changed in the universe, Earth wouldn’t have been created. The very existence of our lives has its root in change. Change comes naturally to us and it has direct relationship with growth. A relationship dies when there is no growth because there is no change. But the question is why do we hate change? We don’t even like the person standing in front of us to behave differently.

Don’t we change our clothes everyday? If clothes get so much privilege then why not human beings? We don’t accept ourselves when we find difference in us. We people are full of inertia, we move to the opposite direction when the car moves to new direction.

This is the level of inertia we pose towards change. When a child turns to a teenager, parents try to control their life all the more not only because they want to protect him but because they can’t adapt themselves to the change in the behavior of their child as they were used to a toy who would listen to them all the time. Let me ask you a question, does winter justifies its turning into spring? I mean why do we need to give an explanation to others when we change? What I was yesterday is not a compulsion for me that I should be the same today.

Most conflicts in relationships, marriage and corporate world is due to their inflexibility towards change. We neither accept change within ourselves and if the other person changes, we question it, “ Tum to aise nhi the“ (you were not like this). Many people fail in their lives because they hold very tight to those primitive behaviors which once brought him success.

they resist to change as per the need of the situation. Best lives are not lead by those who are powerful, but those who have the capability to change with time. Those who welcome change with ease are the winners of life because they say that ‘change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end’ and without change, nobody grows.

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DON’T PROVE THEM BLIND, THOSE WHO TRUST YOU BLINDLY!

Blind are those who have eyes that cannot see. Her Favourite lines from ‘Eyes Have It’ by Ruskin Bond. She never knew this one statement will sum up her life in years to come.

She felt strange when she resigned from her dream job. She knew that something did not fit in. The stories Ms.A shared appeared far from truth – people would not say such things about her. A few colleagues told her so, but she chose to believe Ms. A – a ‘close friend’. As years rolled by, Ms. A started taking a lot of liberty with her – mocked at her, took her for granted, kept telling her so was no good, let her down on various occasions.

But she did not say anything. Ms. A had stood by her on two occasions a few years back. She also had a soft corner for Ms A – a bad childhood, her struggles and fights to be a ‘woman of substance’. She understood the emotional journey of Ms. A and could empathize with her.
She had shared her story with Ms A who in turn shared it with others – with a twist in the tale. One day, a close common friend shared Ms. A’s role in her resignation.

He also shared what happened and how it was manipulated by Ms A. She fought with the close friend. She accused him of being envious successful women and he was feeling insecure. After a few tries, he stopped telling her the ‘reality’ of Ms. A. She lost a good mentor and friend in the bargain. She still was blind.
A lot of her well-wishers saw what she could not see and warned her again and again. But she did not believe them. She did not want to believe them. She strongly believed that people are good souls only circumstances make them do things that are not good. Hence, she tried her best to make things work for Ms A. She tried her best to project the good qualities of Ms. A to others. Stood by Ms. A through thick and thin. But Ms.

A played with her weakness – her goodness.

While she was blind, a couple of good friends drifted away. A few stood by her because they took upon themselves to ensure that her blindness is cured. Finally, they were successful in curing her. Her blindness was cured she could see. The cost of the blind faith in Ms. A was losing not only her dream job but her mentor/best friend and few good friends, fights with family members, mental and emotional turmoil…

If only she could see, she would have had her most cherished relationships with her today.