Tag: first impression

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5 Life transforming Quotes

All of us are looking for the best philosophy which could transform our lives and lead us to the path of success and happiness. The philosophies are many but they are complex and hard to understand. To say a lot in few words is what creativity is all about. People who have tasted success know that in order to understand life, one must always return to the basic principles which govern this world. Our questions may vary in nature but whether we are seeking success or an astounding career or the perfect relationship, all we desire is a happy and fulfilling life. Today I would like to share with all of you these powerful quotes that helped me sail through life and transformed the way I look at life. The words are few but the impact they had on me was life transforming. So hold on to your seat belt because here comes some powerful insight that will shake up your life.“What you seek is seeking you”~ Rumi

We always think that what we desire to become is out of reach and feel fearful of following our dreams because we think that it is only we who have to find our way towards that desired job or relationship but very few of us know that when we identify ourselves with a job, we find us sharing something common with it and we imagine ourselves a part of it. Similarly, the desired job is also having a space which is just meant for us. What we know is that we are moving towards it but what we don’t know is that job or that relationship is moving towards us with the same speed because we complete each other .

I complete that job and the job completes me. So, we must never doubt our dreams and desires because it is not just us who are moving towards it. Remember the dialogue “Tum jis cheez ko shiddat se paana chahte ho, kayanaat usse tumse milane ki saajish krti hai” “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why?”~Mark Twain

We clearly remember the day we are born but the sad part is that we forget why? The moment we are born, the society throws us into a bind chaotic valley and all we know about ourselves at the end is that we were born on this day and died on other day.This is all we know about ourselves, we never question that why am I here? What is the part that I can play? Why the world needs me? It is not what we do but in what we put our life that matters. I remember a mystic saying that when a cricketer plays a shot, he just puts the ball in a specific direction, it may seem petty but imagine how he puts his entire life into that single ball and that’s what makes him a master of the game.No work is small or big, do whatever you do but put your life into it. Know what is needed or what you desire to do and just get involved into it and that day you will know why are you here. “To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong”~ Yogi Rao Sahab

Creativity needs courage because it brings to life something which was’nt there before and what is new will never be understood so easily, people will doubt us, they may disapprove of our new ideas . Its not what people think of us but it is what we think of ourselves that determines our success, if we stop being creative just because it is not conforming to the society, then we can never make a unique space for ourselves. Michael Jackson is a legend not because he did what society wanted him to do but he did leave a mark because he never gave his way to fear and did what he wanted to do. He never judged his creativity, so he was never wrong.So, don’t judge your capability on the faulty scale of societal expectations. ”Whenever you find yourself on the side of majority, it is time to pause and reflect”¬Mark Twain

It is a trend to follow the common path because we feel secure but what we lose in the process is our uniqueness. All of us are irreplaceable because each one of us have a unique purpose whether big or small, if our purpose is unique so is our DNA and so are we then how is it possible that a bunch of people are doing the same thing again and again. So, the next time you find yourself doing something which many have done before, then try to reflect that is it the thing that you were really meant for you. In a world like ours where life has so much to offer, why pick the same cup again and again and if that is the thing you wish to do, then why do the same thing in the same way? “The only thing worse than being blind is to have sight and no vision”¬ Helen Keler

Those who are physically blind feel that they are restricted but those like us who have sight are no better because our sight is so limited that we are no better than blind. All we think about is what I need now, we never dare to go beyond our physical needs. I have seen people who are ready to bargain their talents with a glittery opportunity because it pays them well because all we think about is today. How many of us think that what it is that I want to be remembered for? How many of us see what others dont see about us? How many of us actually believe that we are as good as those who are successful? The reason why dreams appear unreal to us is because we are afraid of the distance between reality and vision and like scared children we just look at what is just present around us.

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Brand the life called ‘You’!!

When it comes to ‘Personal Branding’, all we talk about is making Branding a conscious and living process. It is creating our authentic self and finding that unique space in the world of copies. ‘Personal Branding‘ means that we get to decide how people must see us or what we hear about ourselves. It is the process of making others see what we wish to make them see about ourselves. But the only way one can tap this power is by nurturing Authenticity and Uniqueness. Now the question comes up that ‘Why’ is it important? and ‘How’ to go about it?

There are 4 Ws’ of Personal Branding which I would love to discuss one at a time.

Why go for Personal Branding?

You may be an artist or an ambitious entrepreneur but in a world so full of talented people out there, do you find yourself standing out in some aspect? The question is who knows you? Or, if they do know you then what is that they know about you? In most of the cases, we may be known to a group of friends or our next door neighbours or to the people of our colony we live in. Then think about it when no one knows anything about us, how are they going to approach us? People perceive us on the basis of information they receive about us from various sources. So, the only way to show yourself out there is to become visible. To gain success, your reputation must precede your name. These words like ‘Reputation’ or ‘Fame’ are nothing but the quality of information circulating about you!
If you aspire to become an entrepreneur, then till the time your ideas reach out to others, no one will spot you and we shall remain a wasted talent all our lives. Do you want this for yourself? No employer shall hire you without knowing about you. Not just this even for finding a suitable spouse today, one does a lot of research. Everything comes back to your visibility.
For instance, you are going on vacation to a new place and you have no idea about the place, its hotels or other tourist spots. So what will you do? Most of us go to the official webpage of that hotel and learn about its rating, the facilities available and the reviews and then you make a judgement. What they show you online, you believe it with all your heart. Am I right or am I not? This is exactly what we do. Branding in simple terms mean making a statement “This is who I am” , laying down a set of your characteristics and projecting it with conviction.

What to do?

To become a brand, there are two things that need to be taken care of, first we need to be Authentic and secondly we have to identify our Uniqueness.
Authenticity means that we are what we actually are. You cant be two different people when it comes to your professional or personal life. When you have no faces to hide and when you are yourself, you earn trust from people which is the basis of all personal and professional relationships. What is your reaction when you are fooled by the pictures of a beautiful hotel which in reality turns out to be a disaster! Do you find it pleasant? Of course not! Then if you are trying to show something which you are not, then sooner or later you will be caught. Authenticity can never be replaced.

I love Ranvir Singh for the reason that wherever you find him whether on a film screen or a social event or at his home, he is just the same and that’s what make him a great person. Authenticity empowers you because it means you are not afraid to be yourself. Your relationships, your words and even your pictures must be an extension of your personality and not something that you take from outside.
Uniqueness is another dimension that we need to work on. Most of us exist as photocopies. If a person is doing great in something, we blindly follow it without thinking for a second that do I as a person relate to it, is it my extension? Is it really me? I have seen people doing food blogging, if one starts, others follow. There is nothing wrong in it but where is the variety. Thousands of people going to the same place, posting the same kind of food and expecting attention. This is not how things will work. We need to pick just one thing but do it with all the passion that is inside of us. Not even one DNA matches another, then it is for sure that at our fundamental level, we all are unique. We can’t last long in this race of life till we have something which no one has! Write a blog, use the same ideas but do it in way that is only yours. If you promote business ideas, think out of the box, don’t just repeat what other person said. There is a possibility that initially you may not receive the desired appreciation but in the long run, you will win because you are not a copy.

Where?

Be active on Social Media
Its time now to remove the negative connotation from the word ‘Social Media’, I m not judging whether it is good or bad but all I know is that it is our current reality and if we use it to our advantage, then there is nothing better than that. Go for Instagram, Facebook or Twitter or say even Snapchat. There is nothing wrong in it . Say something which you relate to say for instance, fashion, business or anything. Your say counts! What you say becomes ‘You’, so be cautious of what you say. Write a blog or share a picture that you associate with. Never forget you are branding yourself, your words are becoming you! Make a profile, choose a name which is unique and get started right away.

What to write and When to write?

Sometimes on Facebook or Instagram we do get these friend requests with weird names which we often reject. So the next important thing is that we need to create a profile with a unique name which is not shared by anyone, so that when people search you, there must be less number of people competing with you. The name of your profile must be attractive and easy to pronounce.
After making a profile, you need to decide an area of your expertise or even for your personal life, the pictures you select must have some meaning for you. The relationships you form must be genuine. Consistent relationships which decorate your profile walls attract people and make you a loyal and trustworthy person.

Whatever you post must have relevance to you irrespective of what the world demands. Whatever you write or say must be consistent with your daily actions and you must regularize your writing or blogging and must be done on weekly or monthly basis which is even true for your personal life. There are people out there whose personality gets reflected with a single post, one day you get a subliminal post on spirituality and the other day they come with some practical and materialistic tips. Are we trying to fool ourselves or others? What we are doing is purely contradicting ourselves, if you are spiritual then you have nothing to do with the practality of life! That’s the only rule! I am not saying that being practical is something bad but if you just accept it and don’t go on contradicting yourself on social media. That wall is a scanner, if you are not authentic, your name won’t last long!

Offline Branding

Branding is not to be limited to Social Media but it must be an integral part of our existence. We say we are creating our authentic self which means that what we are online we must be offline as well. So what we say or do in our personal lives is very much a part of personal branding. For instance you are in a party, surrounded by people of all kinds who have little or no information about you, so in order to create a unique space for yourself where people remember you in a certain desired way when they leave the party, you need to adopt principles of personal branding like you must be the same person in front of all people out there, you must say things which really matter to you and are consistent with your own life, you must know well the direction you are heading in and you must have impressive communication skills and just by being your true self, you will attract people who admire you and you shall show them what you want to make them see. Everything you say or do in real life, the relationships you hold and your unique personality is exactly what you need to pay attention to in order to create the brand called you. Here too you need to focus on two things, your authentic personality, authentic relationships and authentic style of living and also nurturing your uniqueness as a person.
Making yourself a brand is not something bad but it means that you are the driver of your own life. Somehow life will always brand you but the moment you decide for yourself what you wish to make others see what they want to see in you or hear what you wish to hear about yourself, then you become your destiny!

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Uncolour

We all must have heard people telling their children “Don’t drink too much tea” or “Don’t go out in the sun“. Parents say this not because they are protective of their child’s skin but because they are afraid of the skin colour getting darker. Even the celebrities are openly endorsing ‘Fairness’ creams. Just imagine what will happen one day if a commercial pops up ‘Change your eyes from black to purple or black to blue’. You may call it absurdity but that is what we are doing. Its time for reality check, We don’t change our eyes because of a certain colour because they cant be changed and if one has a certain shade of eyes, do we make fun of it? Then what happens when it comes to skin colour? Absurdity is that we occupy a world where we are measured in terms of complexion! We have segregated people like genres into ‘blacks’, ‘whites’ and what not!

One day I was having a chat with my niece who enlightened me that in her school it was even better because they had 3 incredible categories, ‘Black”, ‘White’ and ‘Brown’. Such novelty is commendable! Just imagine a 8 year old life living with such core stereotypes, Being bullied at school and looked down upon because of her colour.

Something which is determined by a pigment is now deciding the course of our lives!. We live in a world where are Calibre and virtues are overshadowed by our skin colour. Psychology says that black – white stereotype is still present in our subconscious even if we do not admit it consciously. Infact, there are times when we are not even aware of the fact that we hold prejudice against black people. It is not that we are to be blamed, but it is the result of the attitudes that were transferred from generation to generation and has become something very instinctive or something which comes naturally to us. Stereotypes are hard to break but the only way to tackle with them is to become conscious of the fact that they exist. To doubt their existence is sheer ignorance.

I hope these questions will help us to accept our hidden attitudes

  • Do we feel more attracted to a white baby than a black baby?
  • Do we consider the fair coloured to be more clean in comparison to the dark complexioned?
  • If given a choice, which colour would you choose?

The purpose of these questions is not to embarss someone or make someone feel low about themselves. The logic is simple, if we wish to solve an issue, the primary step is acceptance. I know that there are millions of beautiful souls out there who love genuinely and it is not their fault. Something which has come from collective consciousness and is part of our subconscious is not defining us. We don’t like discriminating but we as individuals are helpless, because somewhere our subconscious makes us do things which we don’t wish to do. In order to cure a disease, we need to accept that we are ill, then only the medicine works lest everything goes in vain. Also the other way round, even people with darker complexion have a natural tendency to feel low about them. We must remember this that there are people who have successfully gone beyond these stigmas, but there are also many who are still under its clutches.

Let us turn our discussion to the problems we are facing due to colour discrimination. The most upsetting thing about this stereotype is that it has reached the mind of the most impressionable lives and that is our children. They face bullying and are treated badly because they have a darker shade of skin. They develop inferiority complex and become socially withdrawn which makes them more susceptible to diseases like depression and anxiety. They lose confidence and become uncomfortable in their own skin. There is nothing worst than making a person feel inferior just because god has made them in a certain way. There are extremely talented actors out there but just because of their colour and face structure, they are rejected. They are tagged with names like ‘Brownie’ or ‘Chocolate’. Till date many Indian girls are rejected for marriage and thought to be unfit for it if they are dark in colour. Even in some families , the fairer child receives more attention than a darker one. Even the endorsements projected on television make us feel that if one is dark then they are incomplete or it is something which needs to be corrected. All Bollywood songs are written in praise of fairness.

I recently heard the story of ‘ Priyanka Chopra’ who was bullied for her darker tone and as a result of it, she used to eat her tiffin alone.I am reminded of a similar incident which happened with my younger daughter. She is a passionate cricket player and cricket being a field sport, she was always in close aquaintance with the sun. As a mother I was proud of nuturing her passion every single day of her life. With course of time her complexion started suffering due to long hours spent in the territory of the sun. For me the situation was like diamond which was getting polished but society failed to notice what I had noticed as a mother. What others saw was that she was getting dark and used to ask me to make her restrict her hours on the field or make her wear ‘Ubtan’, so she could be saved from getting dark. That day I realised that colour discrimination is not functioning on the surface level of things but has reached the deepest core of our humanity where it is interfering with our genuinely borne passions. The colour of our skin is more important than our ambitions or our purpose of life. This is where we are standing today!

Till this very day, many so called ‘Whites’ consider their supremacy over Indians or Africans because of their skin colour. This is nothing to be proud of . Those who are proud of their skin colour must be proud of the amount of nonsense they are nurturing and pouring within. Will you discard an iPhone because it has a black body? Same is the story of humans, the cover may be black but what is inside is worth millions, you never know! There have been so many actresses who in spite of being dark are extremely beautiful. If we make choices by colour, we would discard IPhone to buy an ordinary Samsung phone just because we don’t like its colour. Though IPhone is black but it has a hell of features and has a height which no other phone has ever been able to reach. So, dont make such big blunders.

History is a witness that great people or leaders do not originate because of their skin colour but because of their virtues. There have been people who have not only accepted the situation but have made a conscious effort to change it. Nelson Mandela or Rosa Park were ones who refused to confirm to the conventions of the world. They were living examples of the fact that in order to gain respect in the world, self respect and self love is a must. Till the time the dark complexioned people wont accept themselves and will not love the way they have been designed, they will always  feel less of themselves and this shall make them slaves of the white.

Barack Obama, the black president who ruled the white nation! There is no powerful colour than the colour of authenticity and confidence. Body colour only distracts but if a person is authentic, even the subconscious will drop its weapon before it. The only person who can make us feel bad is, ‘I’, ‘Me’ and ‘Myself’. No one should be entitled to make you feel less except yourself. World will accept you when you accept yourself. Let world relay commercials but you don’t pay heed to it, you always have the choice.
Your skin colour must not interfere with your true passions and if it is then its time for a change in perspective.

With my experience in life, I have gathered that it is never easy to change society, people will continue putting you down on one pretext or the other. Skin colour is just an excuse. As a person if you don’t respect yourself, then don’t expect others to do it. Love yourself unconditionally . One day when you will be soaring high in the sky, then no one will bother to look at your face or try to lecture you on your complexion. There is no powerful colour than the true colour of your soul which never allow such trivialities to let them down. Your skin colour will soon fade behind the brightness of your talents and shining light of your soul. Don’t be distracted by it, those who live by it would also fade soon!

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Personal Branding – ‘I ‘ in the Making!

When we hear the word ‘Brand’, we think of it as some external embellishment which only the privileged section of the society can enjoy. We often associate ‘Brand’ with something artificial or something outside us. But is that so? Is branding an art of only the rich? Is branding an addition to our existing lot? Another very glittery term that has got our attention is ‘Image’ . Everyone is running after forming an indestructible Image . If you don’t believe me then check out your Instagram or twitter or snap chat or the all time famous, our ‘Blue Fairy’, Face book. It appears as if some audition is going on, each member trying to create a never fading image. So, I got it, we need an imperishable image? Right? But how to do that? do all images leave an impact on us?  are all entrepreneurs shining out there? Do all business profiles invite customers? The answer is a big ‘NO’! The only way to form an indestructible image is to make ‘Personal Branding ‘ a living and conscious process. But the need of the hour is to understand ‘Personal Branding’, its nature and how it functions.

Personal branding is the art of being our True and Authentic self. In a world full of copies and copies of copies, we reject our own self to fit in framework of others, so the image we form is too an imitation which wont last long! Personal branding is always happening, whether consciously or subconsciously, that’s our choice. We will always be branded by other people who think of us in one way or the other, but if we control it, we will be branded just the way we desire to be!

Personal branding is not moving outwards but going inwards, exploring our Uniqueness, Realizing that we are one of a kind and not merely becoming a copy. Personal branding is the coupling of Authentic Attitude, Belief, Knowledge with Right Expression through Words, Gestures, Confidence and Clothes. Personal branding is for everyone, it is not just for the privileged or for entrepreneurs, it is a conscious process that must be lived by every person. Personal branding aims at creating an image which transcends beyond time and space and is not transient.

What Personal Branding is ‘NOT’:-

  • Wearing best of Brands (Clothes, Jewellery) but lacking an Authentic and Right Attitude, lacking in confidence and imitating others.
  • Creating high merit profiles on Social Media but lacking Authenticity and Uniqueness.
  • Creating an account on LinkedIn but lacking original ideas.

Functions of Personal Branding

Personal branding is like your Signature, you own it! It is creating your own space when it comes to Entrepreneurship or forming a high profile effortlessly. Personal branding makes you Authentic and Unique and attracts Customers or viewers. If you are different, people will come to you because what is new is always invited. Personal Branding automatically creates a hype around us and people will be attracted. When personal branding comes into play, competition becomes irrelevant because competition occurs between individuals or groups which have parallel characteristics, so if one defines themselves as a unique brand, having a unique set of characteristics, then any type of competition becomes irrelevant. You don’t seek business, business seeks you. 

Personal Branding is ‘I’ in making, which is your own unique self! It will never go unheard or unseen because what is unique can never be defeated! When we choose to be ourselves , then there is no one better than us in that. ‘I’ may sound egocentric but it is not pride but defining us as one of a kind . When it comes to you , your own unique space, your own brand statement, then there is no one near you. Remember, originality never fades, it is imitation that crumbles down!

So choose for yourself, whether you want to be a brand which others decide or a brand that you decide!!!

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‘Mrs’, not ‘Miss’.

The clock struck 5. It was early morning, the weather was cold and misty. Shreya woke up, she was neither happy nor sad , there was no expression on her face. She was walking over the floor with soundless feet. She entered the kitchen and started preparing breakfast for kids. Two hours passed and it was only the chirping of some distant birds could be heard. Shreya‘s heart was not in sync with her mind as if some wire between the two was forcefully broken. The clock struck again , it was 7 ‘0 clock, Rahul woke up, his eyes didn’t bother to find his mistress and his hands didn’t search for Shreya but rather he searched for the cup of tea which was waiting for him.

After seeing off the kids to school, Shreya entered the room and started searching her wardrobe while Rahul was busy replying to the messages on the Whats App. It was only technology and clothes which received the maximum attention, rest everything else was silent and ignored. Both got ready and left for work. The only words exchanged between the two were when Rahul said, “Main shayad late Aaunga , mera intezaar mat krna“, (I might be late today, please dont wait for me). to which Shreya replied, “Mere pass extra keys hai, jab aana to tab aana aur bacchon ko school se lana mat bhulna“, (i have extra house keys with me, you can come when ever you want to, but don’t forget to get the kids back home from school).”

In the background there was a picture hanging down, it was the picture of Rahul and Shreya‘ s wedding . In the picture, Rahul was holding hands of Shreya and both were looking into each other’s eyes . Now both departed in different directions. Rahul had not noticed that Shreya was wearing a beautiful Saree and Shreya too had failed to notice that Rahul was looking much more handsome in his brand new shirt. They both had failed to notice that coming weekend was a long one and it was a chance for them to spend time together. The word ‘holiday’ which once used to put smile on their face has now become too heavy to bear. Rahul subconsciously started looking for weekend tasks whereas Shreya too organized an extra class on Saturday and Sunday. These appointments were not forced upon them but were self invited. Shreya was not there in Rahul‘s recent call log and Rahul wasn’t there in her’s. The same number which 5 years back used to be picked by both in such hurry was now picked up after a long pause. It was lunch time and the same food which Rahul was never tired to appreciate 5 years back had suddenly become tasteless “isme namak hi nhi hai”, (There is no salt in the food). 

Shreya was once doing some correction work in the staff room when suddenly a woman came inside and told her “Miss you will have to do this”, to which Shreya replied “Mrs, not miss, madam”.

Everyday we come across such seemingly ‘happy couple’. It appears that nothing could ever be wrong between the two. They both are so perfect for each other, both are beautiful, talented and brilliant in their jobs . But we forget that silence is a very powerful emotion. It is like winter which freezes your heart and the confusion of emotions are like the fog, We lose connection between heart and mind and like a frost bite. Silence eats up your relationship. Rahul and Shreya are existing together, but not living. The silence in their lives has destroyed the passion of heart and all what is left is a tag, ‘Mrs’.

Relationships are high maintenance things. It is always necessary to keep them in use. If we fail to do this, they might rot. So the next time your wife  or your mother shouts at you, Just be grateful that still you are away from the disease called silence. Either love too hard or hate too hard because there is no midway in relationships. It is the end of year, so it’s the perfect time to look at our relationships, as there are some which needs to be renewed and there are some which we have to let go.

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Hat prettier than face

Social Etiquette is a standard way of behaving in some social situation. The way we eat , the way we sit and walk are all determined by social etiquette. But the question is, why do we need this Etiquette? The answer is simple, Because we have forgotten our true nature of being human. That is why we need a rule book to act according to it. Social Etiquette are ‘Man –  Made Rules’, which are made to control man and make him different from the animal world. But we were not born with these, we were born with natural values like honesty, truthfulness and so on . Such etiquette’ were only there to decorate our basic nature. But as usual we humans always move in wrong direction and we have started giving more focus to social etiquette’ while compromising our basic values.

Everyday new rules are being added to the market and we are madly running after them. We all do make up, right? What will happen if we only look after our cosmetics and not our skin? We will become artificial . We will always have to wear the mask of makeup before going out and in fact we will be hiding our true self. But if we look after our skin, we will glow naturally and just a touch up will do wonders  to our natural beauty. This is exactly what we need to do to focus on our natural values and then using ‘Etiquette’ to make them glitter more.

Here are some questions to analyze our own self and have a reality check.

  •  How many of us talk softly but criticize others?
  •  Do all people who wear the best of clothes have the best of heart?
  • When we ask a person how are they, do we really mean it?
  • How many of us get up early on Sundays and if not then why do we blame people who get up late from Monday to Saturday?
  • How many of us say good morning to our loved ones before sending a wish in a whats App group?
  • How many of us focus more on crockery than quality of food during a feast?
  • How many of us feel gratitude while saying ‘thank you’?
  • How many of us really feel bad when we say ‘ sorry ‘ and really mean our sorry ?

If the answer to most of the questions is “ NO “, then my friends, we are on a ‘Wrong Track’.

There is nothing wrong in following ‘Etiquette’,  but we cannot compromise with our basic values .

Here are few things that we do everyday unknowingly when we compromise our basic values for Etiquette such as:

  • Doing our prayers every single day but refusing to help beggars.
  • Saluting a corrupt person who holds a high position.
  • Holding a PhD degree, but throwing trash on roads.
  • Passing gifts of each other on festivals.
  • Preferring a lie over painful truth.
  • Talking of compassion and ill treating maidservants.
  • Talking of equality but most of the time men paying the bills.

This is what we are moving towards . We are living in a world where we are compromising truth for flattery, honesty for diplomacy and compassion for a practical life. Yes by doing all these things we will be achieving a lot of wealth and opportunities but will be losing on the way god has made us. You don’t have to learn Etiquette because they come naturally with a good heart.

These are some points to be kept in mind and taken care of always:

  • If you want to be courteous, you will have to love other beings including poor and animals
  • If you wish to speak beautifully then first we need to think beautifully.
  • If you don’t repeat a mistake, then you must speak sorry.
  • If you are grateful , then say thank you.
  • If you really want to know, then ask how the other person is.
  • If you wish to look beautiful then focus on creating a beautiful heart.
  • Offer gifts from your heart , even if they are cheap.
  • Have a exciting life than faking it on social media.
  • If we leave our values and give all our attention to our etiquette, then we are only pretending to be humans in body of animals.

‘So nature and etiquette must always go hand in hand’.

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Pinky The Mouse

GAME CHANGER SERIES

Once there lived a little mouse whose name was Pinky. She was a beautiful brown mouse. She was nine years old and was turning ten. One day, her father sadly said, “Pinky, my dear, I love you but I am so sorry. People now don’t throw away food so we won’t be able to celebrate your birthday”. Pinky was heartbroken but she was quiet and didn’t want to ask for anything unreasonable.

She lived with her father who was the head of the mouse clan and her friends and family. Pinky was very clean and hard working.

She was also kind to the others although sometimes they used to tease her. She used to go to lots of human cottages nearby to bring food for her family and friends. One day she went to a cottage for the first time. There she discovered the front door was locked so she tried to go through the gap , but there was a net, so she couldn’t get in. She was really puzzled so she went around the house three or four times. Then she found a key to the house so she opened it and went in and walked a bit and she saw a huge table.

She climbed up the table and there she saw a letter and was puzzled about who it was for, but then she noticed it was written to “whoever passes by”. So Pinky opened the letter and in the letter it said, “We had a wonderful party just the day before and there were a lot of leftovers, but I became very sick, so my husband and I have gone to the seaside, so I have left the key out for the people who collect trash”.

Pinky was surprised but she was a curious mouse. To her great SURPRISE she saw tasty cupcakes , cupcakes and lollipops and so many more goodies. Pinky was delighted when she saw this, because she could then celebrate her birthday party. She danced until her legs ached a lot but she was too happy to think of it.

She scurried back to her cozy mouse hole and stood up on a stone and said , “ May I have your attention please? I would like to tell everybody that I can celebrate my birthday party. And I would like everyone to come”.

Then they all went to the cottage to get some food. They said sorry to Pinky for teasing her all the time, because she was kind she said it was all right. Then they all feasted and said ‘PINKY’ was the HERO of the day and the birthday girl. HAPPY BIRTHDAY PINKY.

Here’s a little about our shining star Joanna Mathews

Joanna just turned 10 years old. She is home schooled and loves reading and writing. She spends most of her day reading and playing with her sisters! She particularly loves adventure stories. Her favorites collections are the Secret Seven and Famous Five. Her favorite hang out is the library.

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7 Seconds’ Decision

We are all aware about the saying- “First impression is the last impression. But did you know that for making the first impression all you have is a window of 7 seconds. The moment we enter the room, people start judging. They judge us and we judge them! It is something that comes naturally; we don’t even realize that we are doing it.

Don’t miss out on giving a smile to the people you meet. This will give them a feeling that you aren’t a snob and can be easily approached. People hesitate in talking if they find a person expressionless or frowning. Smile open heartedly and people would love to indulge in a conversation with you.

In the first 7 seconds people judge you based on the following parameters:

  • Are they friendly/ approachable?
  • Are they confident?
  • Are they successful?
  • Are they intelligent?
  • Are they trustworthy?
  • Are they credible?
  • Are they immoral?

So to make the first impression the best, here are some things you need to do-

  1. Smile- Imagine entering a meeting and people look at you but don’t smile. Will you stay there willingly? Will you feel like working with them? No you won’t. This is what people expect from you too. A smile is the first indicator of positivity.
  1. Handshake- In ancient time handshake was a way to show the strangers that you have no weapons. In the present, a handshake is powerful enough to make or break the image. In a study, researcher Florin Dolcos suggests that a handshake increases a positive effect towards favorable conversation. A firm, friendly handshake has long been recommended in the business world as a way to make a good first impression.
  2. Body Language- Researchers at the University of Texas found that people can very accurately guess 9 different personality traits about you; just by the way you hold your body. The hand gestures and postures silently communicate all that is going on, in your mind. You are sitting with your arms folded and someone is sub consciously forming an image about you. This is the power of your body language. The ideal posture is standing straight with chin up and arms at your side. This suggests that a person is friendly and warm.
  1. Eye Contact- 12 different studies have found job candidates who made strong, lasting eye contact when meeting their interviewer were judged higher and offered jobs more often. People will trust you based on your eye contact with them; it is because eye contact triggers the brain’s trust response. Do not stare at people. Look into their eyes while greeting but avoid a constant eye contact, it may look aggressive.
  2. Appearance- It is always said- dress the way you want to be addressed. It does not work always in all scenarios. Always dress based on the occasion and the people you are going to meet. Wearing the best outfit you have is not the aim.

Imagine going to a formal meeting and meeting someone wearing a costly tattered jeans with expensive t-shirt and shoes. This must be the best and most expensive combination in his wardrobe, but is it appropriate? No, it is not. It is a natural human tendency to judge people based on their clothes right when they enter. Do you do it? Yes of course you do, you may not realize it but it keeps happening naturally. Everyone judges everyone. You too get judged when you enter a room. So dress appropriately.

  1. Congruence- Authenticity is the key to success. You never have to pretend who you’re not. You just have to project yourself, your thoughts, your beliefs in the right way, by doing things YOU believe in. You have to be congruent to yourself!

For an example we discussed about appearance earlier. If you do not believe in wearing the western wear then you can always look for Indo-western or Indian. But yes, suitable to the occasion and the setting. We have so many times seen people wearing things they are not used to, and the discomfort can always be seen on their face as well as in their body language. Don’t struggle wearing what makes you uncomfortable or doing what you don’t believe in.

Now you know how important these 7 seconds for your image are. Make sure you don’t miss out on creating that unforgettable first impression!