Tag: Inspiration

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5 Life transforming Quotes

Sharing with all of you another set of powerful quotes that helped me sail through life and transformed the way I look at life. The words are few but the impact they had on me was life transforming. So here are some powerful insights that will shake up your life.“Why do you stay in prison when the door is wide open?”~ Rumi

We always see this world as restrictive, always finding ourselves being stopped and suppressed by this world and what we do is putting the blame on poverty,unemployment and what not . We think that world is stopping us but most of us don’t think that it is we stopping ourselves” I cant do that”, ” That’s not possible for me”, ” How can I do it?”, does’nt all this sounds familiar. The reality is that we are afraid of the vast possibilities waiting for us out there and find comfort in something comfortable. Whatever we wish to do, if we start for it today , if we dare to think about it, dare to live in it, there is nothing we cant achieve. So, stop being afraid of your dreams. Every person is capable of everything. Don’t let your mind blur your vision of life.

“I Stopped explaining myself when I realized people only understand from their level of perception” We always keep explaining ourselves to others but we must know this that we wont be able to please everybody, however hard we may try, we wont be able to live upto anybody’s expectation, the only one we can please is ourselves. Everyone will see you from their eyes, their prejudices and their attitude. So, stop justifying your actions to others. I have heard people saying ” I could’nt sleep yesterday so I am sleeping now”, why I mean why do we need to justify everything that we do, cant we simply say that I want to sleep and that is why I am sleeping. So, stop explaining yourself to others but do what you feel like, even if you make a mistake, say sorry but don’t justify for we all are humans and evey time you make a mistake, you justify the divine plan which made us imperfect, so stop pleasing others, just be yourself because no one will ever see you as you see yourself.

The more I feel imperfect, the more I feel alive”¬ Jhumpa lahiri

It saddens me to see that so much life is wasted in trying to prove that we are perfect. The world never designed us for perfection. Yes we can always strive for it but in that process we must never lose the essence of being a human being. We are so full of light and darkness but all the time we try to prove that there is only light within us. Our rejecting the dark side which is very much a part of us is the leading cause of all unhappiness. Why cant we say that I did a mistake because I am human and why cant we get rid of those silly excuses that we make to show that we are epitome of perfection.

All creative heads were successful because they never strive to become ‘normal’, they never thought of themselves as the perfect person. As a famous man once said that without a tinge of madness, there can be no creativity. So, don’t try to become perfect because imperfection is the new perfection. ”You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens”¬ Rumi

Every relationship, every struggle and every pain in life has a purpose. Till the time we don’t understand the essence of pain, we wont be able to understand the nature of happiness. In our life we encounter love, hate, jealousy and all other emotions, our heart breaks so many times but just as diamond gets polished by rubbing it against stone. Similarly ,the more we are rubbed by life, the more pain we see, the more we know the worth of happiness. Heartbreaks and loss may jam us for a while but when the heart opens again, it opens much wider than before. So, be great full to all the dark events of your life because more than anything else, these dark moments made you seek true happiness, it made you seek life, it made you seek love more than anything else. Without tasting false love, we would never realize the true one! ”Don’t wait. The time will never be just right”¬ Mark Twain

We always keep waiting for that moment which would change our lives forever because we value one moment over other but what we forget is that all moments are same, each one capable of changing our lives in a second. I wanted to write a book but this dilemma did’nt spare me too, I was always searching for that one moment. It was not under that unusual light or divine guidance that I wrote but it was just a moment which I grabbed and that made all the difference. Time will always be same, each second going by is a chance to live your dream life. The only difference between those who succeed and those who not is that the former make every moment special and the latter leave all moments to search for the special. We must know that all these moments are just made for me.

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Powerful mantra, To path of Immortal Fame!!!

Why it happens that only few of us are able to leave a never dying imprint while others go unnoticed ? Why only some flowers receive our attention while others bloom and die in silence? Why only few of us are celebrated while others ignored? Are such people different from us. Names like ‘Albert Einstein’ resounds till today, their glory never fade. Let’s take our celebrities like ‘Sachin Tendulkar’, ‘Amitabh Bachhan‘, ‘Lata Mangeshkar’ or even ‘Michael Jackson’, what led to their immortal fame ? Whether you are a businessman or a celebrity, fame is not an easy thing to attain. People have always misunderstood the term ‘Fame’, for they think of it as thousands of people running after them but fame is something which goes much beyond time and space. Fame in real essence is to create a unique space for yourself which is yours forever.. It is not transient. Just because we interpreted the term in a wrong way, the fame we obtain is temporary and is always prone to decay.

Today I will share with you a mantra which will, if followed, will undoubtedly provide us an immortality of fame. These 8 beads of mantras is the key to perpetual fame and success. If you ever wish to be like one of them, then what you are looking for is right here. These 8 aspects of your life can give you immortality of fame. If you ever wish to know what great people do, then just scroll down because here lies the mantra for absolute victory.

1 . Have a Vision

People who enjoy perennial fame are those who have a vision. Vision is not a ‘Plan’. Plans are short lived, they may go well or not depending upon what universe has planned for us but vision is something which is the purpose of your life. In order to attain a unique space, you need to create a unique colour and for that we need a vision. Vision is a long term dream which at first seems impossible and people might doubt you but believe in yourself. Recently, the relativity theory of Albert Einstein got proven after so many years of his existence. A man who laid a theory which had no physical evidence received his honour this year when the first picture of black hole was captured. At one time he was criticized but today everyone believes in him. What he thought was not relevant at that time but today it does.

2 . Change Strategies but not purpose

Life will not go in the way you decide it to go. It will change your direction again and again but whichever direction you take, you must reach the desired spot. Your destination must not change even if the direction changes. Our honourable prime minister Mr. Narendra Modi started his career as a tea seller, he switched professions but his strong sense of purpose made him reach the best place.

3 . Have a higher purpose

A few days back I was going through a famous business story which states that in business world, the most successful people are those who rate purpose over profit. Sublimity in purpose is a must in creating a unique space for us. If our purpose is to attain a lot of money or attention, then the kind of fame we will get will also be materialistic and is bound to decay. Whether in business or any other walk of life, our purpose must be of higher order which serves humanity in some way or is contributing to the world in some way. Mother Teresa attained an immortal fame because her purpose was sublime and was not limited to physical achievements.

4 . Have a Vein for Creativity

As I already said that in order to make a never diminishing imprint in heart of others, you have to create an image which has no copy, which is unique and only yours. It is not a photocopy. We must tap our creative power and nurture our creativity. Rajnikant created an immortal space in history of Indian Cinema not because he was an extraordinary human but because he nurtured his creativity. Acting was not a part of his life but his breath. He lived his creativity and that made the difference. We love Michael Jackson not because he was an exceptional dancer but because he created dance. There will be no other like him because the space he created for himself is unique. He added a shade to the world of dance.

5 . Value Relationships

Our family is the basic unit of existence in society, it is the base of all social interactions, if one is not able to establish a profound relationship with them, we won’t be able to establish any professional relationship ever. So, in order to become a man of substance, it is vital that we must prioritize our family. Barack Obama and Michelle Obama are often seen spending quality time with their daughters. Virat Kohli is not only an excellent cricketer but a caring husband too. Mahatma Gandhi had stopped eating salt for his wife. Beautiful relationship with family manifests in our professional lives as well.

6 .Self Care

In order to provide fuel to others, your own tank must be filled completely. To become successful in life, it is vital that we must give ourselves the ‘Me Time’. When we introspect, take proper rest, take refreshing trips or just back off from all the work for a day or two. Detaching ourselves from our work freshens us up and refresh our motivation. Self care also include working out on daily basis, talking to a psychologist occasionally, nurturing our talents etc. Madhuri Dixit often takes out time for her dancing in spite of being a well established actress. Give yourself a break!!

7 . Competence and self discipline

Competence is the ability to learn new things which broadens our horizon, adds depth to our personality and improve our language disciplines. Also, self discipline is the art of control where we challenge ourselves on a daily basis. With self discipline, we become our best competitor. Sharukh Khan loves reading on a daily basis and Akshay Kumar has a habit of getting up by 5 in the morning .

8 . Growing spiritually and changing poison into medicine

We all are spiritual beings and our soul is the constant source of energy. So to replenish our inner being, one must put faith in divine power because when we are one with the spirit, we are never out of fuel, we can never be defeated. It makes us grounded and fearless.

It is truly said that. ‘If a thing does’nt kill you, it makes you stronger’. So the more number of challenges you face, the more brightly your life would shine. Difficulties are to carve you in a shape you desire to be in, so whatever poison you may encounter in your life, consume it like a medicine. Every hurt you face in life comes with a lesson, forget the pain, learn the lesson and move on. One day all of those poisons shall transform into a healing medicine and all those broken lines will join together to make a beautiful curve of success. The perspective you hold when you encounter a difficulty makes all the difference.

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My Body, My Rules!

Life is such an ironical tale that the subtle things we tend to ignore are the ones which weigh the most. A few days back, a similar incident transformed into a big issue which is troubling my heart for past two weeks. I was doing my work and there was someone talking of some girl. I was not a part of the conversation but the voices coming up weren’t able to escape my ears. I was not totally attentive and rather I was passively listening to the conversation. I heard that the girl was beautiful and had fairy like eyes. From the description, I was able to sum her up as a fair, independent and charismatic young lady. Then suddenly there was an obstruction, the tone of the voice changed and it was like a speedy vehicle was suddenly given a powerful brake. The word ‘but’ hit my ear and after that what I heard was no longer some ordinary discussion, not even a national issue but something of a vast magnitude. I heard that the girl was ‘fat’, I know you would say that now I am being over – dramatic but if you continue listening to me, you will realize that we had actually underestimated the harm it poses to humanity. The girl was rejected by him because she was overweight. The boy demanded photographs one after another in different poses and considered her not suitable for a wife because her contour was not confirming to the set standard.

I realized the illusion we all are living in. Just imagine a fine talented and educated woman was rejected just because of her body contour. Just imagine the impact of those words on the mind of that innocent girl. If we put ourselves in that place then we would realize that how painful a process it is when a person feels ashamed of their own body. Thousands of good virtues faded in front of the artificial light of the body.

Another day while I was strolling in the park, I heard a child sobbing all by himself. I asked him gently, “what happened to you child?”  he replied back, “I left my football team because they all teased me that I was too thin and that I dont have the strength to even lift a football”. The words coming from his immature mouth pierced my heart and suddenly the terms ‘fat’ and ‘thin’ started appearing more obnoxious than they ever sounded. I felt disgusted that the size of our body is deciding the course of our life!
These subtle stories though simple in appearance are raising heavy questions. Why is a fat person assumed to be a poor dancer? Why is an over weight girl rejected for marriage? Why a malnourished and skinny model is admired? Why does the sweet post maternal fat keeps the young mothers awake? In fact, why does the word ‘fat’ or ‘thin’ exist at all?
Does all these things appear insignificant? Am I truly being hyperbolic? I don’t think so! These questions further are raising a more fundamental question, ‘are we reducing weight to get ‘healthy’, or to ‘please the society’?’ Many of us didn’t even know that the two things are different from each other.

Let us consider an example, suppose there is a girl who is overweight and there are two friends namely ‘A’ and ‘B’. One day ‘A’ said “Tina you must lose weight otherwise you will become susceptible to other diseases”. Following her, ‘B’ said, ”Tina you must lose weight otherwise you will not be selected in the dance competition”. Both the questions aim at encouraging Tina to lose weight but don’t you think they are poles apart from each other when it comes to their approach. After experiencing these hurtful incidents, I realized that the boundary between what is healthy and what is socially acceptable is getting merged. What we are doing today is not for ourselves but because we wish to confirm to the set standards of society.

It pains me that how carelessly we dart such insensitive remarks with so much ease without realizing that these words which are insignificant to us may actually mean a world to others. The worst thing in life is to make someone feel less of themselves. Just imagine the pain in the eyes of that girl who is not accepted because she is not as society wants her to be. One day these stereotypes shall grow into poor self esteem, lack of confidence and other psychological disturbances which will affect our lives every single day.

The demarcation between ‘healthy advice’ and ‘body shaming’ is hazy and many innocent people are suffering from it . Health has nothing to do with fat or thin. For me, health is when you are happy with your life.
People won’t stop saying things and we cannot stop them as well. All I believe is in loving your body unconditionally because only you should be the critic of your life and your body is not out of proportion but a variation which is like a new shade. For others to love you, first dare to love yourself.

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Uncolour

We all must have heard people telling their children “Don’t drink too much tea” or “Don’t go out in the sun“. Parents say this not because they are protective of their child’s skin but because they are afraid of the skin colour getting darker. Even the celebrities are openly endorsing ‘Fairness’ creams. Just imagine what will happen one day if a commercial pops up ‘Change your eyes from black to purple or black to blue’. You may call it absurdity but that is what we are doing. Its time for reality check, We don’t change our eyes because of a certain colour because they cant be changed and if one has a certain shade of eyes, do we make fun of it? Then what happens when it comes to skin colour? Absurdity is that we occupy a world where we are measured in terms of complexion! We have segregated people like genres into ‘blacks’, ‘whites’ and what not!

One day I was having a chat with my niece who enlightened me that in her school it was even better because they had 3 incredible categories, ‘Black”, ‘White’ and ‘Brown’. Such novelty is commendable! Just imagine a 8 year old life living with such core stereotypes, Being bullied at school and looked down upon because of her colour.

Something which is determined by a pigment is now deciding the course of our lives!. We live in a world where are Calibre and virtues are overshadowed by our skin colour. Psychology says that black – white stereotype is still present in our subconscious even if we do not admit it consciously. Infact, there are times when we are not even aware of the fact that we hold prejudice against black people. It is not that we are to be blamed, but it is the result of the attitudes that were transferred from generation to generation and has become something very instinctive or something which comes naturally to us. Stereotypes are hard to break but the only way to tackle with them is to become conscious of the fact that they exist. To doubt their existence is sheer ignorance.

I hope these questions will help us to accept our hidden attitudes

  • Do we feel more attracted to a white baby than a black baby?
  • Do we consider the fair coloured to be more clean in comparison to the dark complexioned?
  • If given a choice, which colour would you choose?

The purpose of these questions is not to embarss someone or make someone feel low about themselves. The logic is simple, if we wish to solve an issue, the primary step is acceptance. I know that there are millions of beautiful souls out there who love genuinely and it is not their fault. Something which has come from collective consciousness and is part of our subconscious is not defining us. We don’t like discriminating but we as individuals are helpless, because somewhere our subconscious makes us do things which we don’t wish to do. In order to cure a disease, we need to accept that we are ill, then only the medicine works lest everything goes in vain. Also the other way round, even people with darker complexion have a natural tendency to feel low about them. We must remember this that there are people who have successfully gone beyond these stigmas, but there are also many who are still under its clutches.

Let us turn our discussion to the problems we are facing due to colour discrimination. The most upsetting thing about this stereotype is that it has reached the mind of the most impressionable lives and that is our children. They face bullying and are treated badly because they have a darker shade of skin. They develop inferiority complex and become socially withdrawn which makes them more susceptible to diseases like depression and anxiety. They lose confidence and become uncomfortable in their own skin. There is nothing worst than making a person feel inferior just because god has made them in a certain way. There are extremely talented actors out there but just because of their colour and face structure, they are rejected. They are tagged with names like ‘Brownie’ or ‘Chocolate’. Till date many Indian girls are rejected for marriage and thought to be unfit for it if they are dark in colour. Even in some families , the fairer child receives more attention than a darker one. Even the endorsements projected on television make us feel that if one is dark then they are incomplete or it is something which needs to be corrected. All Bollywood songs are written in praise of fairness.

I recently heard the story of ‘ Priyanka Chopra’ who was bullied for her darker tone and as a result of it, she used to eat her tiffin alone.I am reminded of a similar incident which happened with my younger daughter. She is a passionate cricket player and cricket being a field sport, she was always in close aquaintance with the sun. As a mother I was proud of nuturing her passion every single day of her life. With course of time her complexion started suffering due to long hours spent in the territory of the sun. For me the situation was like diamond which was getting polished but society failed to notice what I had noticed as a mother. What others saw was that she was getting dark and used to ask me to make her restrict her hours on the field or make her wear ‘Ubtan’, so she could be saved from getting dark. That day I realised that colour discrimination is not functioning on the surface level of things but has reached the deepest core of our humanity where it is interfering with our genuinely borne passions. The colour of our skin is more important than our ambitions or our purpose of life. This is where we are standing today!

Till this very day, many so called ‘Whites’ consider their supremacy over Indians or Africans because of their skin colour. This is nothing to be proud of . Those who are proud of their skin colour must be proud of the amount of nonsense they are nurturing and pouring within. Will you discard an iPhone because it has a black body? Same is the story of humans, the cover may be black but what is inside is worth millions, you never know! There have been so many actresses who in spite of being dark are extremely beautiful. If we make choices by colour, we would discard IPhone to buy an ordinary Samsung phone just because we don’t like its colour. Though IPhone is black but it has a hell of features and has a height which no other phone has ever been able to reach. So, dont make such big blunders.

History is a witness that great people or leaders do not originate because of their skin colour but because of their virtues. There have been people who have not only accepted the situation but have made a conscious effort to change it. Nelson Mandela or Rosa Park were ones who refused to confirm to the conventions of the world. They were living examples of the fact that in order to gain respect in the world, self respect and self love is a must. Till the time the dark complexioned people wont accept themselves and will not love the way they have been designed, they will always  feel less of themselves and this shall make them slaves of the white.

Barack Obama, the black president who ruled the white nation! There is no powerful colour than the colour of authenticity and confidence. Body colour only distracts but if a person is authentic, even the subconscious will drop its weapon before it. The only person who can make us feel bad is, ‘I’, ‘Me’ and ‘Myself’. No one should be entitled to make you feel less except yourself. World will accept you when you accept yourself. Let world relay commercials but you don’t pay heed to it, you always have the choice.
Your skin colour must not interfere with your true passions and if it is then its time for a change in perspective.

With my experience in life, I have gathered that it is never easy to change society, people will continue putting you down on one pretext or the other. Skin colour is just an excuse. As a person if you don’t respect yourself, then don’t expect others to do it. Love yourself unconditionally . One day when you will be soaring high in the sky, then no one will bother to look at your face or try to lecture you on your complexion. There is no powerful colour than the true colour of your soul which never allow such trivialities to let them down. Your skin colour will soon fade behind the brightness of your talents and shining light of your soul. Don’t be distracted by it, those who live by it would also fade soon!

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Who says we cant fly?

Women are like icebergs. What we see on the surface is just a part of them which appears fragile, delicate and small. But very few notice that beneath the tiny icy portion that floats on surface of water lies a hard core of ice which is capable of breaking off giant ships like Titanic into multitude of pieces, same is the story of women!

It reminds me of a story when a priest asked a child “child can you walk?” to which the child replied, “yes, of course”. The priest popped back with a fresh question, “can you fly child?”  the child reverted back in an irritated voice “no sir its impossible!”. The priest was still not satisfied and sprung back with a new interrogatory statement, “How can you say that you can walk but not fly?” the child with an uneasy look replied, “sir have you seen any human flying in your entire lifetime?“ the priest being obstinate, counteracted “did you ever try flying?” the child’s face was all red with mixed passion of fury and confusion “sir, why would I try to fly when i know its impossible?”, the priest said, “calm down child, i will just take two more minutes of your, answer me, when you were an infant and all you did was crawling, then did you ever think that one day you would be able to walk?” the disgust on the face of the child slowly vanished as if the essence of priest’s words was slowly entering his inattentive ears. The priest then put his hand around the shoulder of the child and said “child you know that you can walk because you have experienced walking and what we experience becomes our truth. But you said no for flying not because you tried and failed but it was told to you by your elders that you cant fly! The answer came not out of your experience but from the set book of stereotypes of what a man could do or not do. It does’nt matter that you fly or not but the sad part is you stopped trying,who knows that one day you could fly?”

The moment a girl or a boy grows up, a book enriched with narrow stereotypes is handed over to them. From cradle to grave. She is told that she cant join army because she is physically weak, she cant be an entrepreneur because she wont be able to raise funds, she cant ride bike because it is simply not made for her, She cant serve her country because men are the emblem of strength. From childhood, she is made to feel like a leverage, she is taught that she cant fight boys and she is incapable of bearing pain. We ignorant beings went to such a degree that we made her learn that she can’t survive abuse or rapes or acid burns and made her feel that her strength won’t function beyond this threshold. As a result of which women stopped experiencing, which is the fundamental process of life and kept on believing what was told to her. Thinking of those stereotypes as the ultimate boundaries of her strength. Same we do with boys, a young lad who wishes to be a great cook is looked down upon and if he dares to cry in front of others, we start questioning his manhood.

Each one of us have heard the stories upto this point where men and women got broken by life by various forces but no one bothers to go beyond it. Everyone looked at the girl who got raped but no one saw the same girl who rose from her ashes like a phoenix. No one bothered to look on the other side of tunnel, where these women bruised by life came out as warriors emerging from darkness. Everyone talked about the woman whose face got burnt with acid but no one bothered to look at her, the same woman who lost her artificial beauty but gained her inner beauty. She identified a beauty which was permanent. Everyone talked about women who had forgotten the art of experiencing life and were going with aid of stigmas that bound them but none noticed those women who time and again experienced life whom chains of stereotypes couldn’t hold tight, who broke all shackles and never limited them even if the world limited them.

Today its time to look at the mind boggling statistics where ordinary men and women like you and me dared to break the stereotypes and dared to experience life. They learnt what they experienced and not learnt what they were taught.

Here are a few women who broke down the shackles of stereotypes and went beyond it.
Mother Teresa – first Indian woman to win the Noble prize
Indira Gandhi – first woman prime minister of India
Pratibha Patil – first woman president of India
Kalpana Chawla – first Indian woman to go to space
Kiran Bedi – first Indian woman IPS officer
Anjali Gupta – first female flying officer in Indian Air force
Justice M Fatima Beevi – first Indian female judge of supreme court
Sania Mirza – first woman to win the women‘s Tennis Association title
Saina Nehwal – number 1 position in world badminton ranking (2015)
Roshini Sharma – first Indian woman to ride a motorbike from Kanyakumari to Kashmir
Shila Dawre – first Indian woman to be an auto rickshaw driver
Mithali Raj – first Indian woman to score a double hundred in test cricket
Sarala Thakral – first Indian woman to fly an aircraft
Mary Kom – first Indian woman boxer to win a gold medal in Olympics
Durga Banerjee – first female pilot and captain of Indian Airlines
Priya Jhingan – first Indian woman to serve Indian Army
Sushmita Sen – first Indian woman to win Miss Universe Pageant
Priyanka Chopra – a successful Bollywood and Hollywood actress, representative of UNICEF
Avani – first woman fighter pilot to fly solo
Nirmala Sitharaman – current Defence minister
Sushma Swaraj – current Minister of External affairs of India
Chanda Kocchar – first Indian woman (CEO Managing Director of ICICI bank) to get Woodrow Wilson Award for Global citizenship

So, If ‘They’ can, Then you too can! Just don’t believe whats being told to you no one gets to decide who you are!!! It is true for both boys and girls to realise that all these shackles, these impossibilities and the big ‘No’s’ exist within the corners of our mind. We all have been endowed with infinite potential. Most of us tag ourselves with description we get from society or the same stereotypical handbook I was earlier talking about! The only way to realise our true potential is to experience. Don’t ever believe in things you haven’t experienced yet. Just do it and then decide for your self. Don’t allow others to sketch a boundary for you. Form your own boundary. Detach yourself from these invisible chains of prejudices and stereotypes and then you will realise that it may happen one day that you may actually fly.

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Cinema says it all!!!! Go woman, go!!!!

You know that you are an Empowered Woman, when you know that fight is inside. When you know that battle is within, Not in the kitchen.!! The word ‘Empowerment‘ is a multidimensional word which has been realized and manifested by various women in their own unique way. The term is so complex that its boundaries are cloudy and is fading into different directions. If you ask me what is ‘Empowerment‘, the definition which I can give you is just a shade and not the actual colour. My way is just a part of it and not whole. Did you ever see a rainbow? It looks multi-coloured, but in fact is formed by splitting of white light. So, the word ‘Empowerment‘ is like white colour which manifests itself in various shades.

Though its not easy to understand each shade with precision but the closest laboratory which can give you a taste of it is the Cinema. As a famous writer puts it ‘Cinema is a matter of what’s in the frame and what’s out’. Cinema is like a mirror in which we find our own reflection. If one ever wishes to understand the position of Women in a specific society, one must watch its Cinema.
With a pocket full of questions regarding Women Empowerment, I went to seek help of Cinema and fortunately I got a handful of answers. The answer which cinema gives you is subtle, it is there but hard to catch. In search of movies which favoured Women Entrepreneurship or promoted Empowerment of Women, I got no specific search result. There were all pieces of puzzle, not whole in them but when combined, they stood out like a complete living picture. That’s exactly what happened with me, answer was in front of me but like a puzzle unsolved.

‘Shruti Kakkar’ of ‘Band baaja baraat’ a middle class girl, who had a vision of becoming a successful wedding planner had side-lined herself from the stereotypical life of women in India. A girl who never created a space for her but discovered it. Lets talk about ‘Shashi’ of ‘English Vinglish’, a woman next door with low education but sky reaching aspirations who expresses her uniqueness by identifying her art of making Ladoos as a new shade of Entrepreneurship. Unknown to the world of English and a source of mockery to her family, she rises as a Phoenix from her ashes by enrolling her name in an English Language course in Manhattan. She becomes an emblem of Feminine strength. On the other hand, we discover the orthodox families of Mehras of ‘Dil Dhadakne Do’ who in spite of knowing the extraordinary capabilities of their daughter ‘Ayesha‘ as an Entrepreneur and thinks her good enough for marriage only. The subtle and delicate way ‘Ayesha’ expresses her desire to part away with her husband and talking about her inability to conceive in front of the entire family is breath taking and a big fracture in the framework of our stereotypical society. Last but not the least, lets talk about Piku who finds a perfect balance between ambitions and marriage. Being encouraged by her father to run blindly after her ambitions, she makes a stand and expresses that as a woman she needs to cater her emotional needs as well. Being an overly ambitious and independent woman, she never forgets to day dream and share a blush with the opposite sex. Also we have ‘Ki and Ka‘, where Kareena and Arjun switched the stereotypical roles of husband and wife with such flexibility. ‘Rani’ of ‘Queen’, a girl who never dared to put her footsteps beyond a set geographical boundary takes a bold turn and off she goes to London to enjoy her honeymoon all by herself. Imagine a typical submissive and ignorant young woman who enters an arena of unknown with such confidence! Not to forget when 3 bold young and independent women of ‘Pink’ are successful in establishing new standards when it comes to living independently and falling hard on the prejudices which dare to limit their freedom!.
These Women define Women Empowerment in their own unique way. Their ways are as unique as them and when their half cut pieces of life are blended together, they bloom and shine and only one voice comes up,
“We don’t shout to gather the crowd
To shout makes us slaves of masculine
To slay hearts with a smile
Makes us an Empowered Feminine!”

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50 Shades of Love

“Not again mom, i am getting the same tiffin for past one week, i am tired of this. Look at Rahul’s mom, she always comes up with something new”. Her words reverberated in the room and Shreya with down casted eyes and trembling lips said “Sweetheart, you know I leave at 7 am and this week was a hectic one. I hope you understand“. The girl frowned and faked a smile. “You do this all the time, I think you need to be clear on your priorities, you don’t even have the time to bid goodbye when we go to school, what else can I expect”. She walked out of the room like a flash of light. Her words had pierced Shreya’s heart, she could feel a burning sensation in her head, she felt like a defeated mother. She was drowning in the pool of guilt, the guilt of not keeping the promise she had made to her daughter when she was born. The words of her daughter were stuck in her ears as if they were hitting her ear again and again. She was not feeling the floor and her did not realize that she had reached the window. There she saw a dozen of martyrs( mothers and housewives) who had killed their own passion to nurture those of their children. For a moment, she felt like a defeated mother. She closed her eyes and her eyes had refused to hold the guilt inside them and tears poured down. Rivers of pain ran down her cheeks.

“Should ambition die for care to live?” or “Should an entrepreneur die for a mother to live? ” She wanted to seek an answer outside but it was to be found inside. She wiped her tears, got ready for work and as she was leaving, her eyes fell upon a troubled neighbour-hood where a loud voice was coming out, “Mom, please dress up properly and please don’t embarrass me at the parents teacher meet. Look at Rishabh’s mom, how she carries herself.  I sometimes wish that you were a working woman“ Suddenly her eyes started glittering as if she had found something she was searching for. She had found her answer.

That evening, Shreya had come back early from work, she had prepared lots of goodies for her daughter. “Come on sweetheart, look what i have prepared for you.” The daughter ate the goodies with immense delight. “Thank you mommy, you are the best“ she said. “You are welcome my love, now since you have eaten the goodies, i want you to go to your room and study for atleast 2 hours and you know i will help you out in the process”. The daughter’s eyes twinkled with amazement as if it was a strange perception. “mom i was going to play“, she said. “Please honey just do as i say”, replied Shreya. “why are you behaving so unusually mom, you sound different. you never force me to study“, she said with a puzzled face. “But Rahul is also studying at this time“, Shreya interrupted. “What does Rahul have to do with me? He is not ‘Me’ mom, why are you comparing me with him?” she said with anger in her eyes. “When you cant be Rahul, then honey, why do you expect me to be like Rahul’s mother? Don’t you think this is a bit unfair!”

Tears ran down the cheeks of the girl as if she came into knowing-ness from a zone of unknowing-ness. She at once rushed to her mother, hugged her and said sorry. “Its alright honey, one day you will be a mommy too. If a lady happens to be a housewife, people will judge her. And if she happens to be a working woman, she would be judged too. Sweetheart, love is shapeless, it has no rules, Some mothers express it through delicious food while others express it through the work values, and the trust we put in you. Whatever i may do, people will judge me, So i do what i can do. I am not a capable cook, i don’t know how to express my love through food, i am just like Rahul’s mom, but my Shade of Love is different from hers” .

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Climbing the Corporate Ladder as a woman

Most Indian women have an ‘Extremist’ approach to life. They wish to be either this way or that, but the matter of fact is that life always happens between the two extremes.The present scenario of Indian women is that, a good number of them are submissive and conditioned as per the expectations of society, They are rigidly attached to the duties which society assigns them and to step out of that conditioned life is not taken well by most of them because it has its set of consequences like the guilt which overpowers them. Psychology believes that if an action or behavior is rewarded or received as positive reinforcement, then the repetition of that particular behavior is more likely to happen and vice versa. Similarly, when women show a certain behavior which is different from the behavior expected from them, their ego produces guilt. They become victims of social criticism even if they are totally able to manage things well. Because of this negative reinforcement, they stop showing this behavior and high ambitions terrify them. On the other hand, women who are high in need of achievement are too aggressive . They are too attacked by pangs of guilt which makes them all the more aggressive and in the process they loose their originality. In both the cases, women are being affected by society, either they are working for or against society. In both ways, they are trying to prove a statement. But in order to lead a successful life, it is important that we remain unaffected by what society thinks of us but concentrate on what our inner self thinks of us. We must not allow our own intelligence to go against us. Guilt is nothing but our own faculties going against us. Instead use your intelligence to strike a balance between the two extreme approaches. Instead of searching an answer outside, its time to go inside.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/climbing-corporate-ladder-woman-tough-yes-impossible-renuka-ramnath

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Every ending has a new beginning

It was this July when I broke up with my friend with whom I had spent almost 10 years of my life with. I was puzzled that how our friendship passed through such difficult phases with so much ease but a mild wind was able to set us apart. At that time I thought it was a miscalculation on part of universe and I started feeling a void as if something was lost. I questioned God that why do people come in our lives when one day they have to leave us.  At that time I was not able to find an answer, so I let it go. I was hurt and I started missing all the common events where earlier we used to go together.

Recently out of no where, I got an answer for the question which was disturbing me since July. The month of December came down as an inspiration to me which taught me that endings walk hand in hand with beginnings . What usually feels like an end is a new beginning.

We meet all type of people in our lives, some walk with us for miles, while some only help us cross a road. Every person we meet is a fill in the blank in our life, Some spellings are lengthy while some end up as soon as they start. I realized that the cause of our broken friendship was not that she was wrong or I was toxic for her, but rather she taught me a lesson that I needed to learn. The art of saying ‘No‘, when I wanted to.

I thought it was the end, but it was rather a beginning for me, because it was the first time I took a stand for myself. The reason for our unhappiness is that we try to join broken pieces of our lives but none of us try to think that why God broke that segment of our lives. Many people advocate against divorce but I personally feel that two happy homes are better than an unhappy one.

There was once a famous musician, he was paralyzed and used to play violin flawlessly. One day he had a concert where he was to perform in front of 2000 people. Having expertise in his art, he started with a bang. Suddenly one of the strings broke, He was all alone on the stage and couldn’t go backstage by himself. Initially he looked around for help, but receiving none, he gathered courage, looked around the restless crowd, closed his eyes and played with the broken violin. The crowd was astonished because it was the finest music that he had produced till now. The auditorium was full of awe and admiration for the musician. When one journalist asked him that how was it possible for him to play a broken violin and produce the sweetest melody ever, to which he replied, “We humans are like violins, our strings might break but we need to produce music with what is left in us.”

We will lose people along our path, we will lose ourselves, we loose the child in us, we do lose the youth in us, we will slowly and gradually lose everything that we once had but that is life because it’s all about producing music with what’s left in us. When we leave school, there are some friends who go abroad, some who end up in city, there are some who remember us, some whom we remember, there are some who call you, some whom you call, some contact us in weeks, some in years, there are some whom we don’t wish to call, some who don’t wish to call us, there are some saved contacts whom we hesitate to contact, some hesitate to call us, some will leave us today to meet tomorrow while some will stay with us today to leave tomorrow.

There is no absolute loss or gain and there is no absolute ending or beginning. We lose old things to gain new ones. I lost my friend but gained my voice. But the most important thing that we as human beings must do is to let go of people who are destined to leave us at that time because if they are meant to be a filler in your life, they will come back after the performance because if we try to use fillers inappropriately, we might end up destroying both the performance and the fillers as well. It is also important to invite new people in, because they too have a new color to paint the picture of our life with. We don’t repeat the colors in our painting then why to repeat human beings. Love is a powerful emotion which means to let go, true love is never insecure , if it’s meant for us, it will come back.

Now it’s time to begin a New Year, so this new year, let go of people who are no more functional in our lives whether they are your friends, or maybe a spouse with whom nothing is working out. Don’t stop people whom God has planned to leave that time because when we let go of non functional people, we make space to attract the useful ones.  Every person we meet in our lives has a role to play at that particular time, when action is complete, let them go and make space for the ones whose roles resonate with our present life. A new year has just started, we did loose some people but gained some new ones. There is some hatred still left and some love still inside our heart. We all have learnt some lessons and have become better versions of ourselves. This year is a new chapter in our book of life.

Happy New Beginnings!!!!

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Pioneers of Life

‘Get up Anjali, it’s 8 o’clock and you are still not awake, come on darling get up, oh gosh! This girl will turn me mad, get up you little ‘wretch’. Suddenly some footsteps were heard, it was Kabir who had entered the room. He was surprised to find his mother beating blankets which was void of its possessor. He said, “Mom, Anjali is not in the bed and why the hell you are beating that pillow”, to this mother replied “then where is that little wretch“. Kabir nodding his head said coolly, “She must be in the washroom and as usual she is late”. Both mother and Kabir came out of the room, the air of the room was a bit different today.

Suddenly out of no where a sound was heard of a steel hitting the marble. Kabir thinking of a thief rushed to the kitchen with a stick, mother too followed him, as he reached the kitchen, he saw something which made his stick fall to the ground.

It was a girl whom he recognized as his sister but something was different. Mother noticed she was wearing a beautiful blue top with denim, her hair was all properly tied up and her hands were holding something which produced a mixed feeling in the eyes of her mother, a sense of achievement and a feeling of loss at the same time.

She knew a phase was over and the moment she saw her grown up child, somewhere deep inside her heart, she felt as if nature had snatched something from her whom she thought was hers alone. She saw with painful eyes that Anjali was holding a Tiffin packed with lunch which her own hands had prepared. Mother passed the aluminium foil to her as if a baton was passed from a retiring leader to another and walked out of the kitchen. Seasons change, years change, day too changes to night.

If nothing ever changed in the universe, Earth wouldn’t have been created. The very existence of our lives has its root in change. Change comes naturally to us and it has direct relationship with growth. A relationship dies when there is no growth because there is no change. But the question is why do we hate change? We don’t even like the person standing in front of us to behave differently.

Don’t we change our clothes everyday? If clothes get so much privilege then why not human beings? We don’t accept ourselves when we find difference in us. We people are full of inertia, we move to the opposite direction when the car moves to new direction.

This is the level of inertia we pose towards change. When a child turns to a teenager, parents try to control their life all the more not only because they want to protect him but because they can’t adapt themselves to the change in the behavior of their child as they were used to a toy who would listen to them all the time. Let me ask you a question, does winter justifies its turning into spring? I mean why do we need to give an explanation to others when we change? What I was yesterday is not a compulsion for me that I should be the same today.

Most conflicts in relationships, marriage and corporate world is due to their inflexibility towards change. We neither accept change within ourselves and if the other person changes, we question it, “ Tum to aise nhi the“ (you were not like this). Many people fail in their lives because they hold very tight to those primitive behaviors which once brought him success.

they resist to change as per the need of the situation. Best lives are not lead by those who are powerful, but those who have the capability to change with time. Those who welcome change with ease are the winners of life because they say that ‘change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end’ and without change, nobody grows.