Tag: Self worth

Posted on by — Leave a comment

5 Life transforming Quotes

Sharing with all of you another set of powerful quotes that helped me sail through life and transformed the way I look at life. The words are few but the impact they had on me was life transforming. So here are some powerful insights that will shake up your life.“Why do you stay in prison when the door is wide open?”~ Rumi

We always see this world as restrictive, always finding ourselves being stopped and suppressed by this world and what we do is putting the blame on poverty,unemployment and what not . We think that world is stopping us but most of us don’t think that it is we stopping ourselves” I cant do that”, ” That’s not possible for me”, ” How can I do it?”, does’nt all this sounds familiar. The reality is that we are afraid of the vast possibilities waiting for us out there and find comfort in something comfortable. Whatever we wish to do, if we start for it today , if we dare to think about it, dare to live in it, there is nothing we cant achieve. So, stop being afraid of your dreams. Every person is capable of everything. Don’t let your mind blur your vision of life.

“I Stopped explaining myself when I realized people only understand from their level of perception” We always keep explaining ourselves to others but we must know this that we wont be able to please everybody, however hard we may try, we wont be able to live upto anybody’s expectation, the only one we can please is ourselves. Everyone will see you from their eyes, their prejudices and their attitude. So, stop justifying your actions to others. I have heard people saying ” I could’nt sleep yesterday so I am sleeping now”, why I mean why do we need to justify everything that we do, cant we simply say that I want to sleep and that is why I am sleeping. So, stop explaining yourself to others but do what you feel like, even if you make a mistake, say sorry but don’t justify for we all are humans and evey time you make a mistake, you justify the divine plan which made us imperfect, so stop pleasing others, just be yourself because no one will ever see you as you see yourself.

The more I feel imperfect, the more I feel alive”¬ Jhumpa lahiri

It saddens me to see that so much life is wasted in trying to prove that we are perfect. The world never designed us for perfection. Yes we can always strive for it but in that process we must never lose the essence of being a human being. We are so full of light and darkness but all the time we try to prove that there is only light within us. Our rejecting the dark side which is very much a part of us is the leading cause of all unhappiness. Why cant we say that I did a mistake because I am human and why cant we get rid of those silly excuses that we make to show that we are epitome of perfection.

All creative heads were successful because they never strive to become ‘normal’, they never thought of themselves as the perfect person. As a famous man once said that without a tinge of madness, there can be no creativity. So, don’t try to become perfect because imperfection is the new perfection. ”You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens”¬ Rumi

Every relationship, every struggle and every pain in life has a purpose. Till the time we don’t understand the essence of pain, we wont be able to understand the nature of happiness. In our life we encounter love, hate, jealousy and all other emotions, our heart breaks so many times but just as diamond gets polished by rubbing it against stone. Similarly ,the more we are rubbed by life, the more pain we see, the more we know the worth of happiness. Heartbreaks and loss may jam us for a while but when the heart opens again, it opens much wider than before. So, be great full to all the dark events of your life because more than anything else, these dark moments made you seek true happiness, it made you seek life, it made you seek love more than anything else. Without tasting false love, we would never realize the true one! ”Don’t wait. The time will never be just right”¬ Mark Twain

We always keep waiting for that moment which would change our lives forever because we value one moment over other but what we forget is that all moments are same, each one capable of changing our lives in a second. I wanted to write a book but this dilemma did’nt spare me too, I was always searching for that one moment. It was not under that unusual light or divine guidance that I wrote but it was just a moment which I grabbed and that made all the difference. Time will always be same, each second going by is a chance to live your dream life. The only difference between those who succeed and those who not is that the former make every moment special and the latter leave all moments to search for the special. We must know that all these moments are just made for me.

Posted on by — Leave a comment

Self love- the most underrated love!

As a child, I used to think that scoring good grades will make me happy, then in my teens, I thought that board examination was a way of finding happiness, in my youth days, the definition of happiness changed to having a successful career and finding the perfect spouse. Is it not something that we all share? We keep on growing our material rewards, attaining the best job, the most handsome husband or the most beautiful wife, we do become happy for sometime but that joy never lasts long, isn’t that so? We keep on attaching our joy to the outside world and self love becomes a mere choice, if I do good in my career, I would love myself and if I fail, I would hate myself to the extent of destroying myself by engaging in drinking, smoking and now we have a better escape, the great drug therapy. After a deep introspection I have realized that the cause of our unhappiness is that we have failed to love ourselves unconditionally. Why do we have to do something or prove anything in order to love ourselves? I have realized that the most toxic feeling one can ever cater is that of guilt, because when it occupies your soul, there is definitely no space for self love.

You wont believe me, let me provide you some instances where you will see how we people are suffering each day due to lack of self love. The moment you wake up and plunge into your social media sites, you find a thousand posts of people who are seeking your approval on a picture of them. There are of course those who love to share their experiences with us and that is something appreciable but a big number of them are doing it because they want one reason to love themselves. On the other hand we have those who engage themselves in flaunting, they may seem irritable but they are actually ones who by speaking high of themselves are reminding their own selves that they are capable of love.

Lets shift our focus to movies, the character KABIR SINGH, who has been the centre of a great controversy is also one of our victims of self sabotaging .He is great doctor and has a promising future but that is not enough to make him fall in love with himself. He drinks uncontrollably, abuses unapologetically not because he wishes to be like that but because he has given up on himself and thinks that he deserves nothing but hatred. Another instance we find in Sanju, who is not able to see himself as a match to his father and drowns himself in drugs and filling the bucket of his soul with overflowing guilt.

Self love is not a desire but a need. We don’t question ourselves when we feel hungry or are thirsty, that why do we need to eat or drink? We just do it, am I right? Same goes the story of self love, we don’t need a reason to love ourselves, you don’t have to be a great student or an amazing son or daughter or an excellent businessman to love yourself. I know that we all have darkness inside of us, none of us are black or white, grey has always been the colour of life, we embrace only the light in us and what happens to the darkness, we hide it under the covers and pretension comes into play. 90% of all mental illnesses have their root cause in not embracing our dark side. Self love has nothing to do with our profession or the amount of money we have in our bank accounts, a poor farmer is sometimes capable of loving himself which even the millionaires fail to do. We must understand this that self love is not an option, whether we are doing good in life or not, self love is a must. You may say that how can we expect a villain to love himself, but let me tell you, if there is self love then there is no villainy. We cannot harm ourselves when we are in love with ourselves.

Recently I was going through a beautiful interview given by KATRINA KAIF which beautifully explains the concept of self love. When asked by a reporter, what difference she finds in her old and new self, she beautifully replied that she has started feeling comfortable in uncomfortable moments of life because she knows that not all things outside her shall go her way, she might or might not receive appreciation by her fans but what makes her feel great is her own voice which speaks of her transition as a beautiful girl to a fine actress. It is when we love ourselves, we remain untouched by outside circumstances and that kind of love is never situational and remains unchanged.

The movie KABIR SINGH is making an appeal to us that self love does’nt come from material success or having good values but it comes from embracing your light and dark side as well, of not pleasing others to receive approval, loving yourself as the way you are. When a mother or a father loves her or his child, they don’t attach ‘IF’ to their love, that is the kind of love we must nurture ourselves with. It is not selfish to love our self but this kind of love is empowering.

Self love has the potential to transform our lives, just like Sanju did after he had spent time in rehabilitation center. It makes us see the same world with different glasses, boosting our confidence and making us feeling comfortable in our own skin.

Posted on by — Leave a comment

Branding is in the air, beware!!

Personal Branding is everyone’s cup of tea and is not just about Actors or Politicians or Businessmen. It is more common than we think. You know what is the difference between a doctor and a patient? both have a fine body system, both pump blood but one takes a breath without being conscious of it and the other knows the process by heart. Now who is at the advantage? Or who can do self care? We all know the answer well, its the doctor! And now answer me that who will run for help in all directions? Yes, ofcourse, its the patient. That is exactly the difference between a person who is ignorant of Branding and a person who knows it well.
Branding happens with each one of us, some remain ignorant towards it while others are much aware of it and become masters of their lives. ‘Branding’ appears to be a commercial term and is like an iceberg, what appears on the surface appears light and superficial but it is deep as hell. I realised lately that ‘branding’ is not just a part of our life but is deep rooted phenomenon and comes out in each word that pours down from your mouth.

Lets take a drive towards ‘Astrology’, the moment we were born, do you remember we being handed over a character certificate by the universe which we call the ‘Janampatri’, just kidding! It makes our life so easy, all steps laid down for us, “at 3 you will walk, at 5 you will talk, at 7 you will dance and at 21 this and at 22 that.” Does it sounds familiar? Jokes apart, it is a valid, authentic and scientific piece of information which at the end of the day might fetch a husband or a wife for you! Are you with me on this? Now lets take a step back, just relax yourself and think about it, what exactly happened with you? The shocking truth is that universe just branded you! Oh my gosh, if universe is doing this to you then spare us guys, for we are just humans!

Lets spare ‘Personal Branding’ for a while because till the time we haven’t tasted branding, we can never understand the true essence of Personal Branding. A large number of us are alien to this process and we are dealing with it, each day and that too ignorantly. The moment we start talking about branding, people start coming up with things like “spare this talk for professionals for we are common people who have nothing to do with brand”  and they put a full stop before things actually begin. The truth is that Branding is shaping our destiny, every single day and we are nodding in ignorance!

When I started becoming conscious of ‘Branding’, I felt transformed and I realized how it was controlling my life up till now. My face, my choices and even my goals were branded by others! The other day I was talking about the increasing number of molestation cases against women and the high vulnerability of women in India, when suddenly out of no where, I heard these words “You are a feminist, don’t you see bad things happening with men out there”. The moment I heard this, I knew I was being branded, everyone would view me in the sane light because that day that girl was painting a false image of mine for other people to see, I sprung up and told her that I was just a common person with a fine sense of judgement who with help of stats could easily weigh the difference in abuse rate of men and women. I told her that I don’t have to be a feminist to see the difference that was obvious. You may wonder what this has to do with personal branding? Wait for a while and you will know what I am talking about. The moment I realized that I was being branded, I decided to refuse the tags which people were throwing at me passively and all of them were going unchecked. That day I decided that I will create my own tags for others to see! I wanted to put out my authentic self and from then, I took charge of my branding by becoming conscious of it and this is my friend, the very moment I met ‘Personal Branding’ face to face.

Branding can control your life to the extent of suffocation. Never underestimate its power. On the other hand, Personal Branding can transform your life in unexpected ways. The other day I was listening to a mystic who beautifully explained the science of Astrology which though authentic is a default map of our lives. It is just like those passive tags people throw at us. If we don’t change the system or put our own program into it, we would be governed by the planet system. The default branding of the universe will carry us throughout our lives. The idea is to take the drivers seat and since branding can never stop, so keep on being branded but doing it actively by throwing out what you wish to take in! If you are satisfied with the passive branding whose victim you already are, then your life will be in hands of people who brand you but the moment you take charge of your own personal branding, then you will make other people see what you want them to see! Don’t let branding control you, be the boss of your own life and make people see or hear what you wish them to see or hear!

Posted on by — Leave a comment

My Body, My Rules!

Life is such an ironical tale that the subtle things we tend to ignore are the ones which weigh the most. A few days back, a similar incident transformed into a big issue which is troubling my heart for past two weeks. I was doing my work and there was someone talking of some girl. I was not a part of the conversation but the voices coming up weren’t able to escape my ears. I was not totally attentive and rather I was passively listening to the conversation. I heard that the girl was beautiful and had fairy like eyes. From the description, I was able to sum her up as a fair, independent and charismatic young lady. Then suddenly there was an obstruction, the tone of the voice changed and it was like a speedy vehicle was suddenly given a powerful brake. The word ‘but’ hit my ear and after that what I heard was no longer some ordinary discussion, not even a national issue but something of a vast magnitude. I heard that the girl was ‘fat’, I know you would say that now I am being over – dramatic but if you continue listening to me, you will realize that we had actually underestimated the harm it poses to humanity. The girl was rejected by him because she was overweight. The boy demanded photographs one after another in different poses and considered her not suitable for a wife because her contour was not confirming to the set standard.

I realized the illusion we all are living in. Just imagine a fine talented and educated woman was rejected just because of her body contour. Just imagine the impact of those words on the mind of that innocent girl. If we put ourselves in that place then we would realize that how painful a process it is when a person feels ashamed of their own body. Thousands of good virtues faded in front of the artificial light of the body.

Another day while I was strolling in the park, I heard a child sobbing all by himself. I asked him gently, “what happened to you child?”  he replied back, “I left my football team because they all teased me that I was too thin and that I dont have the strength to even lift a football”. The words coming from his immature mouth pierced my heart and suddenly the terms ‘fat’ and ‘thin’ started appearing more obnoxious than they ever sounded. I felt disgusted that the size of our body is deciding the course of our life!
These subtle stories though simple in appearance are raising heavy questions. Why is a fat person assumed to be a poor dancer? Why is an over weight girl rejected for marriage? Why a malnourished and skinny model is admired? Why does the sweet post maternal fat keeps the young mothers awake? In fact, why does the word ‘fat’ or ‘thin’ exist at all?
Does all these things appear insignificant? Am I truly being hyperbolic? I don’t think so! These questions further are raising a more fundamental question, ‘are we reducing weight to get ‘healthy’, or to ‘please the society’?’ Many of us didn’t even know that the two things are different from each other.

Let us consider an example, suppose there is a girl who is overweight and there are two friends namely ‘A’ and ‘B’. One day ‘A’ said “Tina you must lose weight otherwise you will become susceptible to other diseases”. Following her, ‘B’ said, ”Tina you must lose weight otherwise you will not be selected in the dance competition”. Both the questions aim at encouraging Tina to lose weight but don’t you think they are poles apart from each other when it comes to their approach. After experiencing these hurtful incidents, I realized that the boundary between what is healthy and what is socially acceptable is getting merged. What we are doing today is not for ourselves but because we wish to confirm to the set standards of society.

It pains me that how carelessly we dart such insensitive remarks with so much ease without realizing that these words which are insignificant to us may actually mean a world to others. The worst thing in life is to make someone feel less of themselves. Just imagine the pain in the eyes of that girl who is not accepted because she is not as society wants her to be. One day these stereotypes shall grow into poor self esteem, lack of confidence and other psychological disturbances which will affect our lives every single day.

The demarcation between ‘healthy advice’ and ‘body shaming’ is hazy and many innocent people are suffering from it . Health has nothing to do with fat or thin. For me, health is when you are happy with your life.
People won’t stop saying things and we cannot stop them as well. All I believe is in loving your body unconditionally because only you should be the critic of your life and your body is not out of proportion but a variation which is like a new shade. For others to love you, first dare to love yourself.

Posted on by — Leave a comment

Who says we cant fly?

Women are like icebergs. What we see on the surface is just a part of them which appears fragile, delicate and small. But very few notice that beneath the tiny icy portion that floats on surface of water lies a hard core of ice which is capable of breaking off giant ships like Titanic into multitude of pieces, same is the story of women!

It reminds me of a story when a priest asked a child “child can you walk?” to which the child replied, “yes, of course”. The priest popped back with a fresh question, “can you fly child?”  the child reverted back in an irritated voice “no sir its impossible!”. The priest was still not satisfied and sprung back with a new interrogatory statement, “How can you say that you can walk but not fly?” the child with an uneasy look replied, “sir have you seen any human flying in your entire lifetime?“ the priest being obstinate, counteracted “did you ever try flying?” the child’s face was all red with mixed passion of fury and confusion “sir, why would I try to fly when i know its impossible?”, the priest said, “calm down child, i will just take two more minutes of your, answer me, when you were an infant and all you did was crawling, then did you ever think that one day you would be able to walk?” the disgust on the face of the child slowly vanished as if the essence of priest’s words was slowly entering his inattentive ears. The priest then put his hand around the shoulder of the child and said “child you know that you can walk because you have experienced walking and what we experience becomes our truth. But you said no for flying not because you tried and failed but it was told to you by your elders that you cant fly! The answer came not out of your experience but from the set book of stereotypes of what a man could do or not do. It does’nt matter that you fly or not but the sad part is you stopped trying,who knows that one day you could fly?”

The moment a girl or a boy grows up, a book enriched with narrow stereotypes is handed over to them. From cradle to grave. She is told that she cant join army because she is physically weak, she cant be an entrepreneur because she wont be able to raise funds, she cant ride bike because it is simply not made for her, She cant serve her country because men are the emblem of strength. From childhood, she is made to feel like a leverage, she is taught that she cant fight boys and she is incapable of bearing pain. We ignorant beings went to such a degree that we made her learn that she can’t survive abuse or rapes or acid burns and made her feel that her strength won’t function beyond this threshold. As a result of which women stopped experiencing, which is the fundamental process of life and kept on believing what was told to her. Thinking of those stereotypes as the ultimate boundaries of her strength. Same we do with boys, a young lad who wishes to be a great cook is looked down upon and if he dares to cry in front of others, we start questioning his manhood.

Each one of us have heard the stories upto this point where men and women got broken by life by various forces but no one bothers to go beyond it. Everyone looked at the girl who got raped but no one saw the same girl who rose from her ashes like a phoenix. No one bothered to look on the other side of tunnel, where these women bruised by life came out as warriors emerging from darkness. Everyone talked about the woman whose face got burnt with acid but no one bothered to look at her, the same woman who lost her artificial beauty but gained her inner beauty. She identified a beauty which was permanent. Everyone talked about women who had forgotten the art of experiencing life and were going with aid of stigmas that bound them but none noticed those women who time and again experienced life whom chains of stereotypes couldn’t hold tight, who broke all shackles and never limited them even if the world limited them.

Today its time to look at the mind boggling statistics where ordinary men and women like you and me dared to break the stereotypes and dared to experience life. They learnt what they experienced and not learnt what they were taught.

Here are a few women who broke down the shackles of stereotypes and went beyond it.
Mother Teresa – first Indian woman to win the Noble prize
Indira Gandhi – first woman prime minister of India
Pratibha Patil – first woman president of India
Kalpana Chawla – first Indian woman to go to space
Kiran Bedi – first Indian woman IPS officer
Anjali Gupta – first female flying officer in Indian Air force
Justice M Fatima Beevi – first Indian female judge of supreme court
Sania Mirza – first woman to win the women‘s Tennis Association title
Saina Nehwal – number 1 position in world badminton ranking (2015)
Roshini Sharma – first Indian woman to ride a motorbike from Kanyakumari to Kashmir
Shila Dawre – first Indian woman to be an auto rickshaw driver
Mithali Raj – first Indian woman to score a double hundred in test cricket
Sarala Thakral – first Indian woman to fly an aircraft
Mary Kom – first Indian woman boxer to win a gold medal in Olympics
Durga Banerjee – first female pilot and captain of Indian Airlines
Priya Jhingan – first Indian woman to serve Indian Army
Sushmita Sen – first Indian woman to win Miss Universe Pageant
Priyanka Chopra – a successful Bollywood and Hollywood actress, representative of UNICEF
Avani – first woman fighter pilot to fly solo
Nirmala Sitharaman – current Defence minister
Sushma Swaraj – current Minister of External affairs of India
Chanda Kocchar – first Indian woman (CEO Managing Director of ICICI bank) to get Woodrow Wilson Award for Global citizenship

So, If ‘They’ can, Then you too can! Just don’t believe whats being told to you no one gets to decide who you are!!! It is true for both boys and girls to realise that all these shackles, these impossibilities and the big ‘No’s’ exist within the corners of our mind. We all have been endowed with infinite potential. Most of us tag ourselves with description we get from society or the same stereotypical handbook I was earlier talking about! The only way to realise our true potential is to experience. Don’t ever believe in things you haven’t experienced yet. Just do it and then decide for your self. Don’t allow others to sketch a boundary for you. Form your own boundary. Detach yourself from these invisible chains of prejudices and stereotypes and then you will realise that it may happen one day that you may actually fly.

Posted on by — Leave a comment

Cinema says it all!!!! Go woman, go!!!!

You know that you are an Empowered Woman, when you know that fight is inside. When you know that battle is within, Not in the kitchen.!! The word ‘Empowerment‘ is a multidimensional word which has been realized and manifested by various women in their own unique way. The term is so complex that its boundaries are cloudy and is fading into different directions. If you ask me what is ‘Empowerment‘, the definition which I can give you is just a shade and not the actual colour. My way is just a part of it and not whole. Did you ever see a rainbow? It looks multi-coloured, but in fact is formed by splitting of white light. So, the word ‘Empowerment‘ is like white colour which manifests itself in various shades.

Though its not easy to understand each shade with precision but the closest laboratory which can give you a taste of it is the Cinema. As a famous writer puts it ‘Cinema is a matter of what’s in the frame and what’s out’. Cinema is like a mirror in which we find our own reflection. If one ever wishes to understand the position of Women in a specific society, one must watch its Cinema.
With a pocket full of questions regarding Women Empowerment, I went to seek help of Cinema and fortunately I got a handful of answers. The answer which cinema gives you is subtle, it is there but hard to catch. In search of movies which favoured Women Entrepreneurship or promoted Empowerment of Women, I got no specific search result. There were all pieces of puzzle, not whole in them but when combined, they stood out like a complete living picture. That’s exactly what happened with me, answer was in front of me but like a puzzle unsolved.

‘Shruti Kakkar’ of ‘Band baaja baraat’ a middle class girl, who had a vision of becoming a successful wedding planner had side-lined herself from the stereotypical life of women in India. A girl who never created a space for her but discovered it. Lets talk about ‘Shashi’ of ‘English Vinglish’, a woman next door with low education but sky reaching aspirations who expresses her uniqueness by identifying her art of making Ladoos as a new shade of Entrepreneurship. Unknown to the world of English and a source of mockery to her family, she rises as a Phoenix from her ashes by enrolling her name in an English Language course in Manhattan. She becomes an emblem of Feminine strength. On the other hand, we discover the orthodox families of Mehras of ‘Dil Dhadakne Do’ who in spite of knowing the extraordinary capabilities of their daughter ‘Ayesha‘ as an Entrepreneur and thinks her good enough for marriage only. The subtle and delicate way ‘Ayesha’ expresses her desire to part away with her husband and talking about her inability to conceive in front of the entire family is breath taking and a big fracture in the framework of our stereotypical society. Last but not the least, lets talk about Piku who finds a perfect balance between ambitions and marriage. Being encouraged by her father to run blindly after her ambitions, she makes a stand and expresses that as a woman she needs to cater her emotional needs as well. Being an overly ambitious and independent woman, she never forgets to day dream and share a blush with the opposite sex. Also we have ‘Ki and Ka‘, where Kareena and Arjun switched the stereotypical roles of husband and wife with such flexibility. ‘Rani’ of ‘Queen’, a girl who never dared to put her footsteps beyond a set geographical boundary takes a bold turn and off she goes to London to enjoy her honeymoon all by herself. Imagine a typical submissive and ignorant young woman who enters an arena of unknown with such confidence! Not to forget when 3 bold young and independent women of ‘Pink’ are successful in establishing new standards when it comes to living independently and falling hard on the prejudices which dare to limit their freedom!.
These Women define Women Empowerment in their own unique way. Their ways are as unique as them and when their half cut pieces of life are blended together, they bloom and shine and only one voice comes up,
“We don’t shout to gather the crowd
To shout makes us slaves of masculine
To slay hearts with a smile
Makes us an Empowered Feminine!”

Posted on by — Leave a comment

Woman- lets create a new shade of life!!!

We live in the 21st century. We all have witnessed drastic changes in the way we live our lives.
Our society has also changed drastically and that can be seen by the change in the status of
Women. Today, women have become Unstoppable. They have Dreams, Aspirations and also possess
the Confidence to turn them into reality. They are subtle, sweet and strong headed. They know
what they want and they get it too. But, have you ever wondered what a women should have in her, so
that, when she enters a room all people swarm around her like bees? The answer to this is
‘Self Acceptance’.

Physical beauty is the first thing that attracts people but not everyone is
blessed to have Cinderella looks. But if we dwel deeper then we come across the eternal truth that
‘Physical beauty is temporary and one day it will fade away’. Most of the women nowadays are
Confident and Strong. They have immense power in them and this power comes from their inner
Self. If a woman accepts herself the way she is and does not try to hide her imperfections from an ‘Empowered Woman’. Self acceptance is the key to confidence and this confidence is what makes a woman attractive.

‘Self love’ is the highest order of love. When we accept our imperfections,
we are confident and we are unperturbed by the judgy eyes of the people, and we have no
inhibitions .We show to the society our true selves and that is what makes a woman fearless.
So its not the physical beauty which turns heads but it is the confidence that she wears that makes
her desirable. To make anyone love you, you must love yourself.

So, this women’s day,all the women out there should be the trend setter of ‘Self Love’ because, that is what makes a woman beautiful and powerful. So the key to be charismatic lies in your own hands. You just need to stop carving
yourself to conform to the standards of the society. We all fear being judged and so we try to
Change ourselves to fit in this society and make people accept us. A woman’s charm is her
Confidence, her Attitude and not in the shape or size of her body. So eat what you want,
wear what your heart says, live life on your own terms and tell the world that ‘It’s my life
and I’ve got my rules’.

Here are few habits which can transform us into a Charismatic Woman:-

  • Be comfortable in your skin. Love yourself and say no to body shaming.
  • Wear clothes which suit your physique and complexion and not what’s trending.
  • Read more because knowledge empowers us and boost our confidence.
  • Always speak less than you know.
  • Make eye contact with others and make firm handshakes.
  • Get involved in some exercise, dance or sport.
  • Nurture your feminine side by getting involved in arts.
  • Become adventurous and physically strong.
  • Listen to music, it will empower your feminine energy.
  • Avoid extreme emotions.
  • Develop the art of listening.
  • Don’t be too open or too reserved, take the middle path.
  • Be adjusting and develop sense of humour.
  • Don’t have rigid views, form flexible attitudes.
  • Make your own decisions and respect your opinions.
  • Spend time in nature and laugh more often.
  • Introspect daily, talk to yourself.
  • Accept your flaws with grace. You are not perfect.
  • Put confidence in your pocket and smile on your face.
  • Never be too conscious of your clothes, body or makeup.
  • Awaken your spiritual side.

Treat yourself as you treat your child, you are not an object which glitters with makeup, but you are the force of divine energy, God’s own creativity, you are in no way less than a man, you are life with a different shade.

Posted on by — Leave a comment

Blinded By…

She felt strange when she resigned from her dream job. She knew that something did not fit in. The stories Ms.A shared ‘seemed’ far from truth – her colleagues would not say such things about her. A few of her colleagues did tell her that her ‘fears’ were baseless. No one in their ‘right’ sense would say such horrid things. However, she chose to believe Ms. A – a ‘close friend’.

Blind are those who have eyes that cannot see. Her favorite lines from ‘Eyes Have It’ by Ruskin Bond. She never knew this one statement will sum up her life in years to come.

As years rolled by, Ms. A started taking a lot of liberty with her – mocked at her, took her for granted, kept telling her so was no good, let her down on various occasions. But she did not say anything. Ms. A had stood by her on two occasions a few years back. She also had a soft corner for Ms A. She bought the stories of Ms A –  bad childhood, harassment at home and work, emotional and physical abuse, struggles and fights to be a prove herself as a ‘woman with beauty n brains’. She understood the emotional journey of Ms. A and could empathize with her. Hence, even when she did not agree with Ms A, she did not voice her dissatisfaction.

She had shared her story with Ms A who in  turn shared it with others – of course, with a twist in the tale. She did not draw healthy boundaries in the relationship and nor did Ms A believe in having them.

One day, a  close common friend shared Ms. A’s role in her resignation. He also shared what actually happened and how it was manipulated by Ms A. She fought with  the close friend. She accused him of being envious of successful women and that he was feeling insecure of  Ms  A popularity and fast growth in the organisation. After a few tries, he stopped telling her the ‘reality’ of Ms. A. He moved on. He did not want to waste his energies on someone who did not wish to understand. She lost a good mentor and friend in the bargain. She still was blind.

A lot of her well-wishers saw what she could not see and warned her again and again. But she did not believe them. She did not ‘want’ to believe them. She strongly believed that people are good souls only circumstances make them do things that are not good. Hence, she tried her best to make things work for Ms A. She tried her best to project the good qualities of Ms. A to others. Stood by Ms. A through thick and thin. But Ms. A played with her weakness – her goodness. In reality, she was not confident about herself, did not love herself enough and did not think she was worthy of the friendships, affection and love of so many good people. In an attempt to dupe others that she was ‘happy’, she was duping herself – confident and bold on the outside but scared and full of self-doubt on the inside. She always managed to  push the ‘good people’ away from her – anyone who saw ‘good’ in her, ‘potential’ in her…..

While she was blind, a couple of good friends drifted away. A few stood by her because they took upon themselves to ensure that her blindness is cured.

Finally, they were successful in curing her. Her blindness was cured she could see. She would not only see what Ms A had done, more importantly she could now see the ‘goodness’ in her, her ‘self-worth’, she started to ‘love herself’.

The cost of the blindness was losing not only her dream job but her mentor/best friend and few good friends, fights with family members,  mental and emotional turmoil….

If only she could see, she would have had her most cherished relationships with her today. She is all set write new chapters in her life with her new vision.