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Who says we cant fly?

Women are like icebergs. What we see on the surface is just a part of them which appears fragile, delicate and small. But very few notice that beneath the tiny icy portion that floats on surface of water lies a hard core of ice which is capable of breaking off giant ships like Titanic into multitude of pieces, same is the story of women!

It reminds me of a story when a priest asked a child “child can you walk?” to which the child replied, “yes, of course”. The priest popped back with a fresh question, “can you fly child?”  the child reverted back in an irritated voice “no sir its impossible!”. The priest was still not satisfied and sprung back with a new interrogatory statement, “How can you say that you can walk but not fly?” the child with an uneasy look replied, “sir have you seen any human flying in your entire lifetime?“ the priest being obstinate, counteracted “did you ever try flying?” the child’s face was all red with mixed passion of fury and confusion “sir, why would I try to fly when i know its impossible?”, the priest said, “calm down child, i will just take two more minutes of your, answer me, when you were an infant and all you did was crawling, then did you ever think that one day you would be able to walk?” the disgust on the face of the child slowly vanished as if the essence of priest’s words was slowly entering his inattentive ears. The priest then put his hand around the shoulder of the child and said “child you know that you can walk because you have experienced walking and what we experience becomes our truth. But you said no for flying not because you tried and failed but it was told to you by your elders that you cant fly! The answer came not out of your experience but from the set book of stereotypes of what a man could do or not do. It does’nt matter that you fly or not but the sad part is you stopped trying,who knows that one day you could fly?”

The moment a girl or a boy grows up, a book enriched with narrow stereotypes is handed over to them. From cradle to grave. She is told that she cant join army because she is physically weak, she cant be an entrepreneur because she wont be able to raise funds, she cant ride bike because it is simply not made for her, She cant serve her country because men are the emblem of strength. From childhood, she is made to feel like a leverage, she is taught that she cant fight boys and she is incapable of bearing pain. We ignorant beings went to such a degree that we made her learn that she can’t survive abuse or rapes or acid burns and made her feel that her strength won’t function beyond this threshold. As a result of which women stopped experiencing, which is the fundamental process of life and kept on believing what was told to her. Thinking of those stereotypes as the ultimate boundaries of her strength. Same we do with boys, a young lad who wishes to be a great cook is looked down upon and if he dares to cry in front of others, we start questioning his manhood.

Each one of us have heard the stories upto this point where men and women got broken by life by various forces but no one bothers to go beyond it. Everyone looked at the girl who got raped but no one saw the same girl who rose from her ashes like a phoenix. No one bothered to look on the other side of tunnel, where these women bruised by life came out as warriors emerging from darkness. Everyone talked about the woman whose face got burnt with acid but no one bothered to look at her, the same woman who lost her artificial beauty but gained her inner beauty. She identified a beauty which was permanent. Everyone talked about women who had forgotten the art of experiencing life and were going with aid of stigmas that bound them but none noticed those women who time and again experienced life whom chains of stereotypes couldn’t hold tight, who broke all shackles and never limited them even if the world limited them.

Today its time to look at the mind boggling statistics where ordinary men and women like you and me dared to break the stereotypes and dared to experience life. They learnt what they experienced and not learnt what they were taught.

Here are a few women who broke down the shackles of stereotypes and went beyond it.
Mother Teresa – first Indian woman to win the Noble prize
Indira Gandhi – first woman prime minister of India
Pratibha Patil – first woman president of India
Kalpana Chawla – first Indian woman to go to space
Kiran Bedi – first Indian woman IPS officer
Anjali Gupta – first female flying officer in Indian Air force
Justice M Fatima Beevi – first Indian female judge of supreme court
Sania Mirza – first woman to win the women‘s Tennis Association title
Saina Nehwal – number 1 position in world badminton ranking (2015)
Roshini Sharma – first Indian woman to ride a motorbike from Kanyakumari to Kashmir
Shila Dawre – first Indian woman to be an auto rickshaw driver
Mithali Raj – first Indian woman to score a double hundred in test cricket
Sarala Thakral – first Indian woman to fly an aircraft
Mary Kom – first Indian woman boxer to win a gold medal in Olympics
Durga Banerjee – first female pilot and captain of Indian Airlines
Priya Jhingan – first Indian woman to serve Indian Army
Sushmita Sen – first Indian woman to win Miss Universe Pageant
Priyanka Chopra – a successful Bollywood and Hollywood actress, representative of UNICEF
Avani – first woman fighter pilot to fly solo
Nirmala Sitharaman – current Defence minister
Sushma Swaraj – current Minister of External affairs of India
Chanda Kocchar – first Indian woman (CEO Managing Director of ICICI bank) to get Woodrow Wilson Award for Global citizenship

So, If ‘They’ can, Then you too can! Just don’t believe whats being told to you no one gets to decide who you are!!! It is true for both boys and girls to realise that all these shackles, these impossibilities and the big ‘No’s’ exist within the corners of our mind. We all have been endowed with infinite potential. Most of us tag ourselves with description we get from society or the same stereotypical handbook I was earlier talking about! The only way to realise our true potential is to experience. Don’t ever believe in things you haven’t experienced yet. Just do it and then decide for your self. Don’t allow others to sketch a boundary for you. Form your own boundary. Detach yourself from these invisible chains of prejudices and stereotypes and then you will realise that it may happen one day that you may actually fly.

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Woman- lets create a new shade of life!!!

We live in the 21st century. We all have witnessed drastic changes in the way we live our lives.
Our society has also changed drastically and that can be seen by the change in the status of
Women. Today, women have become Unstoppable. They have Dreams, Aspirations and also possess
the Confidence to turn them into reality. They are subtle, sweet and strong headed. They know
what they want and they get it too. But, have you ever wondered what a women should have in her, so
that, when she enters a room all people swarm around her like bees? The answer to this is
‘Self Acceptance’.

Physical beauty is the first thing that attracts people but not everyone is
blessed to have Cinderella looks. But if we dwel deeper then we come across the eternal truth that
‘Physical beauty is temporary and one day it will fade away’. Most of the women nowadays are
Confident and Strong. They have immense power in them and this power comes from their inner
Self. If a woman accepts herself the way she is and does not try to hide her imperfections from an ‘Empowered Woman’. Self acceptance is the key to confidence and this confidence is what makes a woman attractive.

‘Self love’ is the highest order of love. When we accept our imperfections,
we are confident and we are unperturbed by the judgy eyes of the people, and we have no
inhibitions .We show to the society our true selves and that is what makes a woman fearless.
So its not the physical beauty which turns heads but it is the confidence that she wears that makes
her desirable. To make anyone love you, you must love yourself.

So, this women’s day,all the women out there should be the trend setter of ‘Self Love’ because, that is what makes a woman beautiful and powerful. So the key to be charismatic lies in your own hands. You just need to stop carving
yourself to conform to the standards of the society. We all fear being judged and so we try to
Change ourselves to fit in this society and make people accept us. A woman’s charm is her
Confidence, her Attitude and not in the shape or size of her body. So eat what you want,
wear what your heart says, live life on your own terms and tell the world that ‘It’s my life
and I’ve got my rules’.

Here are few habits which can transform us into a Charismatic Woman:-

  • Be comfortable in your skin. Love yourself and say no to body shaming.
  • Wear clothes which suit your physique and complexion and not what’s trending.
  • Read more because knowledge empowers us and boost our confidence.
  • Always speak less than you know.
  • Make eye contact with others and make firm handshakes.
  • Get involved in some exercise, dance or sport.
  • Nurture your feminine side by getting involved in arts.
  • Become adventurous and physically strong.
  • Listen to music, it will empower your feminine energy.
  • Avoid extreme emotions.
  • Develop the art of listening.
  • Don’t be too open or too reserved, take the middle path.
  • Be adjusting and develop sense of humour.
  • Don’t have rigid views, form flexible attitudes.
  • Make your own decisions and respect your opinions.
  • Spend time in nature and laugh more often.
  • Introspect daily, talk to yourself.
  • Accept your flaws with grace. You are not perfect.
  • Put confidence in your pocket and smile on your face.
  • Never be too conscious of your clothes, body or makeup.
  • Awaken your spiritual side.

Treat yourself as you treat your child, you are not an object which glitters with makeup, but you are the force of divine energy, God’s own creativity, you are in no way less than a man, you are life with a different shade.

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The Muted Love

The alarm rang, Raj woke up at first call, he looked out of the window, the sky was all blue black with mixed shades of yellow and orange, he could see the sun peeping and making its way through stubborn darkness. His face was covered with a gentle smile, the day was special to him, he was going to meet the love of his life. It was not the first date they were to have together but that day it was special. He sprung up from his bed, opened his cupboard and took out his black coat. With every inch of the coat coming out, his smile grew bigger and bigger. It was his beloved’s favourite coat and he thought that it would be the best thing to put on. He was excited but a bit nervous too. He remembered how she had called him ‘chivalrous’ when he had worn the same coat on their first date.

Memories had overpowered him and with moist eyes, he went to the washroom. When he came out and dressed himself, he tried to bend on one knee and looking in the mirror practiced proposing her. He rehearsed it a couple of times and when he thought it was perfect, he took his hat and moved out of the house. He thought of buying a bouquet for her as she was fond of red roses. He brought some red cherries for her as well. With joy in his heart, he continued his journey. People said that he was mad in love, and there was nothing wrong about it . He often said that common sense and love does’nt work together.

Soon he reached his destination, he was imagining her grey eyes and her love stricken whitish pale face. Suddenly he became nervous and stumbled over a stone. He entered this place, it was full of other people, too populated but yet filled with blissful silence. He went to her, she was waiting for her since morning but she remained mute. He talked to her for hours and she listened patiently without interrupting. He then lied beside her and wished that she would initiate the conversation of love. She was next to him yet seemed so far. Her coldness never froze his warm heart. After a long healthy talk, he got up and failing to break her mute, he placed the bouquet on her Grey Grave, while other graves whispered in hush hush. He kissed her grave and said, ”Happy Anniversary Sweetheart, I Love You forever”. He then took his wooden stick and walked back towards home while his grey hair shined when sun rays were falling upon him.

Women are like ‘wine’, they make everything look beautiful but remain consciously ‘unnoticed’. Their presence is like ‘magic’, they spell around ‘love and joy’, as she goes about ‘unappreciated’. Her worth is only felt when she is gone. Make her feel loved because she Deserves It! There is no one in the world who can love you like a Woman! Appreciate the ‘Finest Creation of God’, Celebrate Woman! A Very Happy Women’s Day. Love the Women of your life and know their worth before they are gone.

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Ambitious Women -A Force to Reckon with

There’s No Force more powerful than an Ambitious Woman with a Vision.

In recent times, a lot of women achieving in their fields, but what I have been pondering upon is, is that all we have?

Most women are just as ambitious as men when they begin their careers, but become so wearied by fighting against multiple structural and experiential barriers to their success that this ambition often fades.

Most surveys reveal that there is a difference in the levels of ambition in the proportion of men and women aiming for the top. What is surprising is that, they don’t start off that way. The surveys were done for various professions and it was found that both men and women have absolutely equal levels of ambition and want to make it to top in equal numbers.

While men’s ambition increased with time, women’s decreased and the reason is not associated with wanting to have kids, or to stay home and look after them. It’s related to not having support, mentors or role models to make it to the top, and the subtle biases against women that lead to their choices. It is at times the frustration of proving oneself time and again for something frivolous. Also, society at times, labels and judges women who are ambitious. It is convinenient to walk a path of conformity.

I believe there needs to be a considerable level of awareness that needs to reach out to these women and it’s our responsiblity to ensure this happens. In a recent meet in Delhi, where the top women of Corporate India discussed on diversity and inclusion, Ms Naina Lal Kidwai, stated that women should feel proud that they are ambitious. They should not shy away from it.

And also I don’t think ambitious women should feel shy about admitting to a desire to get on, succeed, even to win – and it’s time to get it out in the open, without fear of becoming target practice.

A lot is being done to break the Glass Ceiling. The government and corporates are working towards diversity and inclusion. The numbers show a positive trend. However, certain class of companies have a women director form within the family to comply to the Company’s Act of 2013. The objective of including women to increase diversity is defeated as these women are notional heads. A number of forums are supporting  and developing women leaders across the county. The objective of these forums is to prepare women to fulfil these director level positions. Unfortunately, organizations are not willing to take in a new breed of directors and hence a few women are serving on multiple boards or someone from within the family is present.

Real diversity and inclusion will happen when women who are deserving are given the roles to ensure diversity. For that, the women need to

  • be proud that they are ambitious for themselves,
  • have a larger vision and share that vision,
  • own their achievemets  and be proud of their achievements and accomplishments,
  • think of at scaling and growing,
  • avoid walking the path of conformity and give in or give up on their dreams
  • fight the battle within.

To a more diverse and inclusive India….