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Relationships

When it comes to success, people may talk about hard work, perseverance and determination but most of the time we forget that the most successful people of the world were those who had the most profound relationships. Relationships are subtle things, they don’t get noticed much but are a huge factor in success stories. We encounter all types of relationship in our lives, some carry us forward while others teach us precious lessons. Relationships make us strong. We are dependent beings, none of us work in isolation. Science proves that relationships are not only important for success but for longetivity as well. They juice up our lives and give us a reason to live. The most dry people are those who don’t value relationships. There has not been one success story where relationships were not valued.

Let me just tell you how relationships work and how they are direct staircase for success. Like it is said, that if you wish to go fast, you may walk alone and if you wish to walk far, then walk together. Relationships make us fearless. Each and every action of our lives is conducted for our loved ones. They give us reason to work. We encounter many kinds of relationships. Strong bonds with the right kind of people adds spice to our lives. Some relationships come under the umbrella term of ‘Friendship’. Such bonds are priceless, for they see in us what we cant see for ourselves. I remember watching movie “M.S Dhoni”. Today we see ‘Dhoni’ as a legendary figure but what made him reach this height was not just hard work but the right kind of people who contributed to his success story at every step. When a person wins, it is not his own victory but it is also a win for all those people who strived to make that life succeed. Some helped him find a coach, some encouraged him at every step and that too with no ulterior motive.

Life can never be led in isolation, we all need support. Suppose I am blessed with a talent but I wont be able to realize it till others see that in me. It is only appreciation which will make me strive more and more. When we form strong bonds based on love, we come closer to our humanity. We cannot do great deeds if our emotional health is weak. Relationships nurture our emotional health because when we love, we are more human and when we are more human, the things we create are coming for a higher place which is bound to make you succeed. Relationships impact every aspect of our lives. A person coming from a dysfunctional home may be a genius but not happy, in spite of having the best of qualities, he wont be able to function because our lives are a reflection of our relationships. When all is not fine at home or with friends, nothing can be fine at workplace too. The frustration produced due to want of love and affection will ruin everything eventually.

Many people would argue with me that there are those who are self motivated and just like poison changes to medicine, they transform their broken relationships to success but that is just half of the story. Broken relationships may motivate you for a short period of time, you may loose yourself for a short period of time, you may turn into a cold hearted monster but at the end of the day such people always wish to go back home because the achievement they get is purely materialistic but there is a big hollow inside them. We define success in terms of fame or monetary gains, but for me the true essence of success lies when you can be understood by at least one person on this blue planet, when you are happy from inside and when you know that your life has been a contribution to humanity. The nature of relationships we may encounter may not always be present but what to pick them from it and to never close the gates of your heart is a sure short way to success. If you encounter a good relationship, then be rest assured that you have found the right kind of people and if you encounter bad relationships, then don’t get disheartened but see it from a fresh perspective that these are the people you need to avoid and be happy that you got a lesson but never ever close your heart.
Our world is a mess and we may blame Science or Technology for it. As I said before that relationships are subtle things and we tend to ignore them. We don’t see them apparently but if they are faulty then they are capable enough of destroying every aspect of you life and we won’t even come to know! Never underestimate the impact of relationships.

I remember a story of a girl, she was a pretty capable girl, blessed with multitude of talents. I remember her getting selected for every interview she faced. We had a lot many expectations from her. In spite of being so good at work and having sound understanding, she was not able to continue with any job for more than a month. This was strange! This happened for two years at stretch and then she received a marriage proposal and we thought that her good nature and compassion will never make her fail in any relationship she might form.. It was not even a year when both husband and wife parted. This was shocking! She then went to a psychologist who analysed that all the troubles in her professional life was because she shared an uncordial relationship with her step mother and in order to lead a successful life, she will have to mend to her relationship with her. Bad relationships are like slow poisoning, they will eventually kill you!

We say that we are not happy because life has become stressful but just like an underlying symptom, it is nothing but poor relationships that is making us go nuts! Each family member being highly active on social media but has nothing to share with each other, parents not having time to talk their kids because they have work to do! No more pillow fights between siblings because Netflix is important first, not meeting our friends because we have other important things to catch up and couples living in a sort of marital contract where they have no time to share sweet glances of love All these subtle deficiencies of our lives take ugly forms which come in the form of bullying, extramarital affair, depression and crime.

I would like to end the discussion here by saying that Relationships, either bad or good are a part of healthy living because they are a proof of our humanity but silence is devastating. So never close your heart to relationships. First try to understand the importance of relationship and then I will come back to you with exciting ways to attract the right kind of people!!

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Powerful mantra, To path of Immortal Fame!!!

Why it happens that only few of us are able to leave a never dying imprint while others go unnoticed ? Why only some flowers receive our attention while others bloom and die in silence? Why only few of us are celebrated while others ignored? Are such people different from us. Names like ‘Albert Einstein’ resounds till today, their glory never fade. Let’s take our celebrities like ‘Sachin Tendulkar’, ‘Amitabh Bachhan‘, ‘Lata Mangeshkar’ or even ‘Michael Jackson’, what led to their immortal fame ? Whether you are a businessman or a celebrity, fame is not an easy thing to attain. People have always misunderstood the term ‘Fame’, for they think of it as thousands of people running after them but fame is something which goes much beyond time and space. Fame in real essence is to create a unique space for yourself which is yours forever.. It is not transient. Just because we interpreted the term in a wrong way, the fame we obtain is temporary and is always prone to decay.

Today I will share with you a mantra which will, if followed, will undoubtedly provide us an immortality of fame. These 8 beads of mantras is the key to perpetual fame and success. If you ever wish to be like one of them, then what you are looking for is right here. These 8 aspects of your life can give you immortality of fame. If you ever wish to know what great people do, then just scroll down because here lies the mantra for absolute victory.

1 . Have a Vision

People who enjoy perennial fame are those who have a vision. Vision is not a ‘Plan’. Plans are short lived, they may go well or not depending upon what universe has planned for us but vision is something which is the purpose of your life. In order to attain a unique space, you need to create a unique colour and for that we need a vision. Vision is a long term dream which at first seems impossible and people might doubt you but believe in yourself. Recently, the relativity theory of Albert Einstein got proven after so many years of his existence. A man who laid a theory which had no physical evidence received his honour this year when the first picture of black hole was captured. At one time he was criticized but today everyone believes in him. What he thought was not relevant at that time but today it does.

2 . Change Strategies but not purpose

Life will not go in the way you decide it to go. It will change your direction again and again but whichever direction you take, you must reach the desired spot. Your destination must not change even if the direction changes. Our honourable prime minister Mr. Narendra Modi started his career as a tea seller, he switched professions but his strong sense of purpose made him reach the best place.

3 . Have a higher purpose

A few days back I was going through a famous business story which states that in business world, the most successful people are those who rate purpose over profit. Sublimity in purpose is a must in creating a unique space for us. If our purpose is to attain a lot of money or attention, then the kind of fame we will get will also be materialistic and is bound to decay. Whether in business or any other walk of life, our purpose must be of higher order which serves humanity in some way or is contributing to the world in some way. Mother Teresa attained an immortal fame because her purpose was sublime and was not limited to physical achievements.

4 . Have a Vein for Creativity

As I already said that in order to make a never diminishing imprint in heart of others, you have to create an image which has no copy, which is unique and only yours. It is not a photocopy. We must tap our creative power and nurture our creativity. Rajnikant created an immortal space in history of Indian Cinema not because he was an extraordinary human but because he nurtured his creativity. Acting was not a part of his life but his breath. He lived his creativity and that made the difference. We love Michael Jackson not because he was an exceptional dancer but because he created dance. There will be no other like him because the space he created for himself is unique. He added a shade to the world of dance.

5 . Value Relationships

Our family is the basic unit of existence in society, it is the base of all social interactions, if one is not able to establish a profound relationship with them, we won’t be able to establish any professional relationship ever. So, in order to become a man of substance, it is vital that we must prioritize our family. Barack Obama and Michelle Obama are often seen spending quality time with their daughters. Virat Kohli is not only an excellent cricketer but a caring husband too. Mahatma Gandhi had stopped eating salt for his wife. Beautiful relationship with family manifests in our professional lives as well.

6 .Self Care

In order to provide fuel to others, your own tank must be filled completely. To become successful in life, it is vital that we must give ourselves the ‘Me Time’. When we introspect, take proper rest, take refreshing trips or just back off from all the work for a day or two. Detaching ourselves from our work freshens us up and refresh our motivation. Self care also include working out on daily basis, talking to a psychologist occasionally, nurturing our talents etc. Madhuri Dixit often takes out time for her dancing in spite of being a well established actress. Give yourself a break!!

7 . Competence and self discipline

Competence is the ability to learn new things which broadens our horizon, adds depth to our personality and improve our language disciplines. Also, self discipline is the art of control where we challenge ourselves on a daily basis. With self discipline, we become our best competitor. Sharukh Khan loves reading on a daily basis and Akshay Kumar has a habit of getting up by 5 in the morning .

8 . Growing spiritually and changing poison into medicine

We all are spiritual beings and our soul is the constant source of energy. So to replenish our inner being, one must put faith in divine power because when we are one with the spirit, we are never out of fuel, we can never be defeated. It makes us grounded and fearless.

It is truly said that. ‘If a thing does’nt kill you, it makes you stronger’. So the more number of challenges you face, the more brightly your life would shine. Difficulties are to carve you in a shape you desire to be in, so whatever poison you may encounter in your life, consume it like a medicine. Every hurt you face in life comes with a lesson, forget the pain, learn the lesson and move on. One day all of those poisons shall transform into a healing medicine and all those broken lines will join together to make a beautiful curve of success. The perspective you hold when you encounter a difficulty makes all the difference.

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Pioneers of Life

‘Get up Anjali, it’s 8 o’clock and you are still not awake, come on darling get up, oh gosh! This girl will turn me mad, get up you little ‘wretch’. Suddenly some footsteps were heard, it was Kabir who had entered the room. He was surprised to find his mother beating blankets which was void of its possessor. He said, “Mom, Anjali is not in the bed and why the hell you are beating that pillow”, to this mother replied “then where is that little wretch“. Kabir nodding his head said coolly, “She must be in the washroom and as usual she is late”. Both mother and Kabir came out of the room, the air of the room was a bit different today.

Suddenly out of no where a sound was heard of a steel hitting the marble. Kabir thinking of a thief rushed to the kitchen with a stick, mother too followed him, as he reached the kitchen, he saw something which made his stick fall to the ground.

It was a girl whom he recognized as his sister but something was different. Mother noticed she was wearing a beautiful blue top with denim, her hair was all properly tied up and her hands were holding something which produced a mixed feeling in the eyes of her mother, a sense of achievement and a feeling of loss at the same time.

She knew a phase was over and the moment she saw her grown up child, somewhere deep inside her heart, she felt as if nature had snatched something from her whom she thought was hers alone. She saw with painful eyes that Anjali was holding a Tiffin packed with lunch which her own hands had prepared. Mother passed the aluminium foil to her as if a baton was passed from a retiring leader to another and walked out of the kitchen. Seasons change, years change, day too changes to night.

If nothing ever changed in the universe, Earth wouldn’t have been created. The very existence of our lives has its root in change. Change comes naturally to us and it has direct relationship with growth. A relationship dies when there is no growth because there is no change. But the question is why do we hate change? We don’t even like the person standing in front of us to behave differently.

Don’t we change our clothes everyday? If clothes get so much privilege then why not human beings? We don’t accept ourselves when we find difference in us. We people are full of inertia, we move to the opposite direction when the car moves to new direction.

This is the level of inertia we pose towards change. When a child turns to a teenager, parents try to control their life all the more not only because they want to protect him but because they can’t adapt themselves to the change in the behavior of their child as they were used to a toy who would listen to them all the time. Let me ask you a question, does winter justifies its turning into spring? I mean why do we need to give an explanation to others when we change? What I was yesterday is not a compulsion for me that I should be the same today.

Most conflicts in relationships, marriage and corporate world is due to their inflexibility towards change. We neither accept change within ourselves and if the other person changes, we question it, “ Tum to aise nhi the“ (you were not like this). Many people fail in their lives because they hold very tight to those primitive behaviors which once brought him success.

they resist to change as per the need of the situation. Best lives are not lead by those who are powerful, but those who have the capability to change with time. Those who welcome change with ease are the winners of life because they say that ‘change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end’ and without change, nobody grows.

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Personal Brand Icon – Jaji Vijayaraman

An experienced professional in automotive product design & development business with diverse expertise in tooling, engineering and product oriented organizations. Began the journey as graduate trainee with BPL Automation, Bangalore in Tool and Die design and Plastic simulations.

Gained experience in automotive systems development, manufacturing and assembly processes at Visteon Automotive Systems, Chennai. As Program Manager, managed multiple projects with all major automakers.

Moved to Product Engineering with Tata Autocomponent Systems at Pune, establishing all new engineering team and building competencies to be self sufficient, then at Daimler India Commercial Vehicles, Chennai in R&D managed different functions and now with Valeo INDIA as R&D Director-Mechanical. With a Passion to drive innovations in the organization, he has groomed and inspired many young engineers on patenting their innovations thus increasing intellectual property for the organization. Having 18+ technical patents to self’s credit. Dynamic leader with personality traits that helps individuals, teams and the organizations to achieve excellence.

Interview With Jaji Vijayaraman

Author: Tell us something about yourself.

Jaji: I am an automotive engineer. I have worked in the automotive industry for the last 23+ years. I have worked in Visteon, TACO, Daimler and now I am heading GEEDS Mechical R&D Center for Valeo.

Author: Do you think we form impressions of people when we meet them?

Jaji: Yes, it’s a hard fact that all of us form impressions of people based on their gestures, dressing, the way they talk, etc.

Author: What are some of aspects that contribute to forming first impressions?

Jaji: Gestures, dressing and communication.

Author: How does this impact your further interaction with the person?

Jaji: It challenges me to ride over my impression and try to understand the person with an unbiased view. This could, in most instances, make me lose confidence or interest in the person.

Author: What is the first thing that you observe in a person when you meet them?

Jaji: Overall attire and eye contact.

Author: Is personal branding important in your profession?

Jaji: In this fast-paced corporate world, it indeed makes a big impact. Mostly, one has very little time to impress or make an impression on the other person.

Author: What is your personal brand?

Jaji: My smile.

Author: Do you consciously work on your branding?

Jaji: No

Author: Who has impacted you the most when it comes to branding and dressing?

Jaji: People who are very close to me, my friends and most importantly, my experience working with multicultural/multinational organizations.

Author: Complete the sentences:

  • As a brand, I stand for – Trust and comfort.
  • First impressions are – hard to erase/undo.
  • Dressing appropriately is – important both in professional and personal life as it gives a visual meaning to one’s image and helps building a positive perception.