Tag: Successful Women

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Who says we cant fly?

Women are like icebergs. What we see on the surface is just a part of them which appears fragile, delicate and small. But very few notice that beneath the tiny icy portion that floats on surface of water lies a hard core of ice which is capable of breaking off giant ships like Titanic into multitude of pieces, same is the story of women!

It reminds me of a story when a priest asked a child “child can you walk?” to which the child replied, “yes, of course”. The priest popped back with a fresh question, “can you fly child?”  the child reverted back in an irritated voice “no sir its impossible!”. The priest was still not satisfied and sprung back with a new interrogatory statement, “How can you say that you can walk but not fly?” the child with an uneasy look replied, “sir have you seen any human flying in your entire lifetime?“ the priest being obstinate, counteracted “did you ever try flying?” the child’s face was all red with mixed passion of fury and confusion “sir, why would I try to fly when i know its impossible?”, the priest said, “calm down child, i will just take two more minutes of your, answer me, when you were an infant and all you did was crawling, then did you ever think that one day you would be able to walk?” the disgust on the face of the child slowly vanished as if the essence of priest’s words was slowly entering his inattentive ears. The priest then put his hand around the shoulder of the child and said “child you know that you can walk because you have experienced walking and what we experience becomes our truth. But you said no for flying not because you tried and failed but it was told to you by your elders that you cant fly! The answer came not out of your experience but from the set book of stereotypes of what a man could do or not do. It does’nt matter that you fly or not but the sad part is you stopped trying,who knows that one day you could fly?”

The moment a girl or a boy grows up, a book enriched with narrow stereotypes is handed over to them. From cradle to grave. She is told that she cant join army because she is physically weak, she cant be an entrepreneur because she wont be able to raise funds, she cant ride bike because it is simply not made for her, She cant serve her country because men are the emblem of strength. From childhood, she is made to feel like a leverage, she is taught that she cant fight boys and she is incapable of bearing pain. We ignorant beings went to such a degree that we made her learn that she can’t survive abuse or rapes or acid burns and made her feel that her strength won’t function beyond this threshold. As a result of which women stopped experiencing, which is the fundamental process of life and kept on believing what was told to her. Thinking of those stereotypes as the ultimate boundaries of her strength. Same we do with boys, a young lad who wishes to be a great cook is looked down upon and if he dares to cry in front of others, we start questioning his manhood.

Each one of us have heard the stories upto this point where men and women got broken by life by various forces but no one bothers to go beyond it. Everyone looked at the girl who got raped but no one saw the same girl who rose from her ashes like a phoenix. No one bothered to look on the other side of tunnel, where these women bruised by life came out as warriors emerging from darkness. Everyone talked about the woman whose face got burnt with acid but no one bothered to look at her, the same woman who lost her artificial beauty but gained her inner beauty. She identified a beauty which was permanent. Everyone talked about women who had forgotten the art of experiencing life and were going with aid of stigmas that bound them but none noticed those women who time and again experienced life whom chains of stereotypes couldn’t hold tight, who broke all shackles and never limited them even if the world limited them.

Today its time to look at the mind boggling statistics where ordinary men and women like you and me dared to break the stereotypes and dared to experience life. They learnt what they experienced and not learnt what they were taught.

Here are a few women who broke down the shackles of stereotypes and went beyond it.
Mother Teresa – first Indian woman to win the Noble prize
Indira Gandhi – first woman prime minister of India
Pratibha Patil – first woman president of India
Kalpana Chawla – first Indian woman to go to space
Kiran Bedi – first Indian woman IPS officer
Anjali Gupta – first female flying officer in Indian Air force
Justice M Fatima Beevi – first Indian female judge of supreme court
Sania Mirza – first woman to win the women‘s Tennis Association title
Saina Nehwal – number 1 position in world badminton ranking (2015)
Roshini Sharma – first Indian woman to ride a motorbike from Kanyakumari to Kashmir
Shila Dawre – first Indian woman to be an auto rickshaw driver
Mithali Raj – first Indian woman to score a double hundred in test cricket
Sarala Thakral – first Indian woman to fly an aircraft
Mary Kom – first Indian woman boxer to win a gold medal in Olympics
Durga Banerjee – first female pilot and captain of Indian Airlines
Priya Jhingan – first Indian woman to serve Indian Army
Sushmita Sen – first Indian woman to win Miss Universe Pageant
Priyanka Chopra – a successful Bollywood and Hollywood actress, representative of UNICEF
Avani – first woman fighter pilot to fly solo
Nirmala Sitharaman – current Defence minister
Sushma Swaraj – current Minister of External affairs of India
Chanda Kocchar – first Indian woman (CEO Managing Director of ICICI bank) to get Woodrow Wilson Award for Global citizenship

So, If ‘They’ can, Then you too can! Just don’t believe whats being told to you no one gets to decide who you are!!! It is true for both boys and girls to realise that all these shackles, these impossibilities and the big ‘No’s’ exist within the corners of our mind. We all have been endowed with infinite potential. Most of us tag ourselves with description we get from society or the same stereotypical handbook I was earlier talking about! The only way to realise our true potential is to experience. Don’t ever believe in things you haven’t experienced yet. Just do it and then decide for your self. Don’t allow others to sketch a boundary for you. Form your own boundary. Detach yourself from these invisible chains of prejudices and stereotypes and then you will realise that it may happen one day that you may actually fly.

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Cinema says it all!!!! Go woman, go!!!!

You know that you are an Empowered Woman, when you know that fight is inside. When you know that battle is within, Not in the kitchen.!! The word ‘Empowerment‘ is a multidimensional word which has been realized and manifested by various women in their own unique way. The term is so complex that its boundaries are cloudy and is fading into different directions. If you ask me what is ‘Empowerment‘, the definition which I can give you is just a shade and not the actual colour. My way is just a part of it and not whole. Did you ever see a rainbow? It looks multi-coloured, but in fact is formed by splitting of white light. So, the word ‘Empowerment‘ is like white colour which manifests itself in various shades.

Though its not easy to understand each shade with precision but the closest laboratory which can give you a taste of it is the Cinema. As a famous writer puts it ‘Cinema is a matter of what’s in the frame and what’s out’. Cinema is like a mirror in which we find our own reflection. If one ever wishes to understand the position of Women in a specific society, one must watch its Cinema.
With a pocket full of questions regarding Women Empowerment, I went to seek help of Cinema and fortunately I got a handful of answers. The answer which cinema gives you is subtle, it is there but hard to catch. In search of movies which favoured Women Entrepreneurship or promoted Empowerment of Women, I got no specific search result. There were all pieces of puzzle, not whole in them but when combined, they stood out like a complete living picture. That’s exactly what happened with me, answer was in front of me but like a puzzle unsolved.

‘Shruti Kakkar’ of ‘Band baaja baraat’ a middle class girl, who had a vision of becoming a successful wedding planner had side-lined herself from the stereotypical life of women in India. A girl who never created a space for her but discovered it. Lets talk about ‘Shashi’ of ‘English Vinglish’, a woman next door with low education but sky reaching aspirations who expresses her uniqueness by identifying her art of making Ladoos as a new shade of Entrepreneurship. Unknown to the world of English and a source of mockery to her family, she rises as a Phoenix from her ashes by enrolling her name in an English Language course in Manhattan. She becomes an emblem of Feminine strength. On the other hand, we discover the orthodox families of Mehras of ‘Dil Dhadakne Do’ who in spite of knowing the extraordinary capabilities of their daughter ‘Ayesha‘ as an Entrepreneur and thinks her good enough for marriage only. The subtle and delicate way ‘Ayesha’ expresses her desire to part away with her husband and talking about her inability to conceive in front of the entire family is breath taking and a big fracture in the framework of our stereotypical society. Last but not the least, lets talk about Piku who finds a perfect balance between ambitions and marriage. Being encouraged by her father to run blindly after her ambitions, she makes a stand and expresses that as a woman she needs to cater her emotional needs as well. Being an overly ambitious and independent woman, she never forgets to day dream and share a blush with the opposite sex. Also we have ‘Ki and Ka‘, where Kareena and Arjun switched the stereotypical roles of husband and wife with such flexibility. ‘Rani’ of ‘Queen’, a girl who never dared to put her footsteps beyond a set geographical boundary takes a bold turn and off she goes to London to enjoy her honeymoon all by herself. Imagine a typical submissive and ignorant young woman who enters an arena of unknown with such confidence! Not to forget when 3 bold young and independent women of ‘Pink’ are successful in establishing new standards when it comes to living independently and falling hard on the prejudices which dare to limit their freedom!.
These Women define Women Empowerment in their own unique way. Their ways are as unique as them and when their half cut pieces of life are blended together, they bloom and shine and only one voice comes up,
“We don’t shout to gather the crowd
To shout makes us slaves of masculine
To slay hearts with a smile
Makes us an Empowered Feminine!”

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Woman- lets create a new shade of life!!!

We live in the 21st century. We all have witnessed drastic changes in the way we live our lives.
Our society has also changed drastically and that can be seen by the change in the status of
Women. Today, women have become Unstoppable. They have Dreams, Aspirations and also possess
the Confidence to turn them into reality. They are subtle, sweet and strong headed. They know
what they want and they get it too. But, have you ever wondered what a women should have in her, so
that, when she enters a room all people swarm around her like bees? The answer to this is
‘Self Acceptance’.

Physical beauty is the first thing that attracts people but not everyone is
blessed to have Cinderella looks. But if we dwel deeper then we come across the eternal truth that
‘Physical beauty is temporary and one day it will fade away’. Most of the women nowadays are
Confident and Strong. They have immense power in them and this power comes from their inner
Self. If a woman accepts herself the way she is and does not try to hide her imperfections from an ‘Empowered Woman’. Self acceptance is the key to confidence and this confidence is what makes a woman attractive.

‘Self love’ is the highest order of love. When we accept our imperfections,
we are confident and we are unperturbed by the judgy eyes of the people, and we have no
inhibitions .We show to the society our true selves and that is what makes a woman fearless.
So its not the physical beauty which turns heads but it is the confidence that she wears that makes
her desirable. To make anyone love you, you must love yourself.

So, this women’s day,all the women out there should be the trend setter of ‘Self Love’ because, that is what makes a woman beautiful and powerful. So the key to be charismatic lies in your own hands. You just need to stop carving
yourself to conform to the standards of the society. We all fear being judged and so we try to
Change ourselves to fit in this society and make people accept us. A woman’s charm is her
Confidence, her Attitude and not in the shape or size of her body. So eat what you want,
wear what your heart says, live life on your own terms and tell the world that ‘It’s my life
and I’ve got my rules’.

Here are few habits which can transform us into a Charismatic Woman:-

  • Be comfortable in your skin. Love yourself and say no to body shaming.
  • Wear clothes which suit your physique and complexion and not what’s trending.
  • Read more because knowledge empowers us and boost our confidence.
  • Always speak less than you know.
  • Make eye contact with others and make firm handshakes.
  • Get involved in some exercise, dance or sport.
  • Nurture your feminine side by getting involved in arts.
  • Become adventurous and physically strong.
  • Listen to music, it will empower your feminine energy.
  • Avoid extreme emotions.
  • Develop the art of listening.
  • Don’t be too open or too reserved, take the middle path.
  • Be adjusting and develop sense of humour.
  • Don’t have rigid views, form flexible attitudes.
  • Make your own decisions and respect your opinions.
  • Spend time in nature and laugh more often.
  • Introspect daily, talk to yourself.
  • Accept your flaws with grace. You are not perfect.
  • Put confidence in your pocket and smile on your face.
  • Never be too conscious of your clothes, body or makeup.
  • Awaken your spiritual side.

Treat yourself as you treat your child, you are not an object which glitters with makeup, but you are the force of divine energy, God’s own creativity, you are in no way less than a man, you are life with a different shade.

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50 Shades of Love

“Not again mom, i am getting the same tiffin for past one week, i am tired of this. Look at Rahul’s mom, she always comes up with something new”. Her words reverberated in the room and Shreya with down casted eyes and trembling lips said “Sweetheart, you know I leave at 7 am and this week was a hectic one. I hope you understand“. The girl frowned and faked a smile. “You do this all the time, I think you need to be clear on your priorities, you don’t even have the time to bid goodbye when we go to school, what else can I expect”. She walked out of the room like a flash of light. Her words had pierced Shreya’s heart, she could feel a burning sensation in her head, she felt like a defeated mother. She was drowning in the pool of guilt, the guilt of not keeping the promise she had made to her daughter when she was born. The words of her daughter were stuck in her ears as if they were hitting her ear again and again. She was not feeling the floor and her did not realize that she had reached the window. There she saw a dozen of martyrs( mothers and housewives) who had killed their own passion to nurture those of their children. For a moment, she felt like a defeated mother. She closed her eyes and her eyes had refused to hold the guilt inside them and tears poured down. Rivers of pain ran down her cheeks.

“Should ambition die for care to live?” or “Should an entrepreneur die for a mother to live? ” She wanted to seek an answer outside but it was to be found inside. She wiped her tears, got ready for work and as she was leaving, her eyes fell upon a troubled neighbour-hood where a loud voice was coming out, “Mom, please dress up properly and please don’t embarrass me at the parents teacher meet. Look at Rishabh’s mom, how she carries herself.  I sometimes wish that you were a working woman“ Suddenly her eyes started glittering as if she had found something she was searching for. She had found her answer.

That evening, Shreya had come back early from work, she had prepared lots of goodies for her daughter. “Come on sweetheart, look what i have prepared for you.” The daughter ate the goodies with immense delight. “Thank you mommy, you are the best“ she said. “You are welcome my love, now since you have eaten the goodies, i want you to go to your room and study for atleast 2 hours and you know i will help you out in the process”. The daughter’s eyes twinkled with amazement as if it was a strange perception. “mom i was going to play“, she said. “Please honey just do as i say”, replied Shreya. “why are you behaving so unusually mom, you sound different. you never force me to study“, she said with a puzzled face. “But Rahul is also studying at this time“, Shreya interrupted. “What does Rahul have to do with me? He is not ‘Me’ mom, why are you comparing me with him?” she said with anger in her eyes. “When you cant be Rahul, then honey, why do you expect me to be like Rahul’s mother? Don’t you think this is a bit unfair!”

Tears ran down the cheeks of the girl as if she came into knowing-ness from a zone of unknowing-ness. She at once rushed to her mother, hugged her and said sorry. “Its alright honey, one day you will be a mommy too. If a lady happens to be a housewife, people will judge her. And if she happens to be a working woman, she would be judged too. Sweetheart, love is shapeless, it has no rules, Some mothers express it through delicious food while others express it through the work values, and the trust we put in you. Whatever i may do, people will judge me, So i do what i can do. I am not a capable cook, i don’t know how to express my love through food, i am just like Rahul’s mom, but my Shade of Love is different from hers” .

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Climbing the Corporate Ladder as a woman

Most Indian women have an ‘Extremist’ approach to life. They wish to be either this way or that, but the matter of fact is that life always happens between the two extremes.The present scenario of Indian women is that, a good number of them are submissive and conditioned as per the expectations of society, They are rigidly attached to the duties which society assigns them and to step out of that conditioned life is not taken well by most of them because it has its set of consequences like the guilt which overpowers them. Psychology believes that if an action or behavior is rewarded or received as positive reinforcement, then the repetition of that particular behavior is more likely to happen and vice versa. Similarly, when women show a certain behavior which is different from the behavior expected from them, their ego produces guilt. They become victims of social criticism even if they are totally able to manage things well. Because of this negative reinforcement, they stop showing this behavior and high ambitions terrify them. On the other hand, women who are high in need of achievement are too aggressive . They are too attacked by pangs of guilt which makes them all the more aggressive and in the process they loose their originality. In both the cases, women are being affected by society, either they are working for or against society. In both ways, they are trying to prove a statement. But in order to lead a successful life, it is important that we remain unaffected by what society thinks of us but concentrate on what our inner self thinks of us. We must not allow our own intelligence to go against us. Guilt is nothing but our own faculties going against us. Instead use your intelligence to strike a balance between the two extreme approaches. Instead of searching an answer outside, its time to go inside.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/climbing-corporate-ladder-woman-tough-yes-impossible-renuka-ramnath

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Pioneers of Life

‘Get up Anjali, it’s 8 o’clock and you are still not awake, come on darling get up, oh gosh! This girl will turn me mad, get up you little ‘wretch’. Suddenly some footsteps were heard, it was Kabir who had entered the room. He was surprised to find his mother beating blankets which was void of its possessor. He said, “Mom, Anjali is not in the bed and why the hell you are beating that pillow”, to this mother replied “then where is that little wretch“. Kabir nodding his head said coolly, “She must be in the washroom and as usual she is late”. Both mother and Kabir came out of the room, the air of the room was a bit different today.

Suddenly out of no where a sound was heard of a steel hitting the marble. Kabir thinking of a thief rushed to the kitchen with a stick, mother too followed him, as he reached the kitchen, he saw something which made his stick fall to the ground.

It was a girl whom he recognized as his sister but something was different. Mother noticed she was wearing a beautiful blue top with denim, her hair was all properly tied up and her hands were holding something which produced a mixed feeling in the eyes of her mother, a sense of achievement and a feeling of loss at the same time.

She knew a phase was over and the moment she saw her grown up child, somewhere deep inside her heart, she felt as if nature had snatched something from her whom she thought was hers alone. She saw with painful eyes that Anjali was holding a Tiffin packed with lunch which her own hands had prepared. Mother passed the aluminium foil to her as if a baton was passed from a retiring leader to another and walked out of the kitchen. Seasons change, years change, day too changes to night.

If nothing ever changed in the universe, Earth wouldn’t have been created. The very existence of our lives has its root in change. Change comes naturally to us and it has direct relationship with growth. A relationship dies when there is no growth because there is no change. But the question is why do we hate change? We don’t even like the person standing in front of us to behave differently.

Don’t we change our clothes everyday? If clothes get so much privilege then why not human beings? We don’t accept ourselves when we find difference in us. We people are full of inertia, we move to the opposite direction when the car moves to new direction.

This is the level of inertia we pose towards change. When a child turns to a teenager, parents try to control their life all the more not only because they want to protect him but because they can’t adapt themselves to the change in the behavior of their child as they were used to a toy who would listen to them all the time. Let me ask you a question, does winter justifies its turning into spring? I mean why do we need to give an explanation to others when we change? What I was yesterday is not a compulsion for me that I should be the same today.

Most conflicts in relationships, marriage and corporate world is due to their inflexibility towards change. We neither accept change within ourselves and if the other person changes, we question it, “ Tum to aise nhi the“ (you were not like this). Many people fail in their lives because they hold very tight to those primitive behaviors which once brought him success.

they resist to change as per the need of the situation. Best lives are not lead by those who are powerful, but those who have the capability to change with time. Those who welcome change with ease are the winners of life because they say that ‘change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end’ and without change, nobody grows.

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Ambitious Women -A Force to Reckon with

There’s No Force more powerful than an Ambitious Woman with a Vision.

In recent times, a lot of women achieving in their fields, but what I have been pondering upon is, is that all we have?

Most women are just as ambitious as men when they begin their careers, but become so wearied by fighting against multiple structural and experiential barriers to their success that this ambition often fades.

Most surveys reveal that there is a difference in the levels of ambition in the proportion of men and women aiming for the top. What is surprising is that, they don’t start off that way. The surveys were done for various professions and it was found that both men and women have absolutely equal levels of ambition and want to make it to top in equal numbers.

While men’s ambition increased with time, women’s decreased and the reason is not associated with wanting to have kids, or to stay home and look after them. It’s related to not having support, mentors or role models to make it to the top, and the subtle biases against women that lead to their choices. It is at times the frustration of proving oneself time and again for something frivolous. Also, society at times, labels and judges women who are ambitious. It is convinenient to walk a path of conformity.

I believe there needs to be a considerable level of awareness that needs to reach out to these women and it’s our responsiblity to ensure this happens. In a recent meet in Delhi, where the top women of Corporate India discussed on diversity and inclusion, Ms Naina Lal Kidwai, stated that women should feel proud that they are ambitious. They should not shy away from it.

And also I don’t think ambitious women should feel shy about admitting to a desire to get on, succeed, even to win – and it’s time to get it out in the open, without fear of becoming target practice.

A lot is being done to break the Glass Ceiling. The government and corporates are working towards diversity and inclusion. The numbers show a positive trend. However, certain class of companies have a women director form within the family to comply to the Company’s Act of 2013. The objective of including women to increase diversity is defeated as these women are notional heads. A number of forums are supporting  and developing women leaders across the county. The objective of these forums is to prepare women to fulfil these director level positions. Unfortunately, organizations are not willing to take in a new breed of directors and hence a few women are serving on multiple boards or someone from within the family is present.

Real diversity and inclusion will happen when women who are deserving are given the roles to ensure diversity. For that, the women need to

  • be proud that they are ambitious for themselves,
  • have a larger vision and share that vision,
  • own their achievemets  and be proud of their achievements and accomplishments,
  • think of at scaling and growing,
  • avoid walking the path of conformity and give in or give up on their dreams
  • fight the battle within.

To a more diverse and inclusive India….