She felt strange when she resigned from her dream job. She knew that something did not fit in. The stories Ms.A shared ‘seemed’ far from truth – her colleagues would not say such things about her. A few of her colleagues did tell her that her ‘fears’ were baseless. No one in their ‘right’ sense would say such horrid things. However, she chose to believe Ms. A – a ‘close friend’.
Blind are those who have eyes that cannot see. Her favorite lines from ‘Eyes Have It’ by Ruskin Bond. She never knew this one statement will sum up her life in years to come.
As years rolled by, Ms. A started taking a lot of liberty with her – mocked at her, took her for granted, kept telling her so was no good, let her down on various occasions. But she did not say anything. Ms. A had stood by her on two occasions a few years back. She also had a soft corner for Ms A. She bought the stories of Ms A – bad childhood, harassment at home and work, emotional and physical abuse, struggles and fights to be a prove herself as a ‘woman with beauty n brains’. She understood the emotional journey of Ms. A and could empathize with her. Hence, even when she did not agree with Ms A, she did not voice her dissatisfaction.
She had shared her story with Ms A who in turn shared it with others – of course, with a twist in the tale. She did not draw healthy boundaries in the relationship and nor did Ms A believe in having them.
One day, a close common friend shared Ms. A’s role in her resignation. He also shared what actually happened and how it was manipulated by Ms A. She fought with the close friend. She accused him of being envious of successful women and that he was feeling insecure of Ms A popularity and fast growth in the organisation. After a few tries, he stopped telling her the ‘reality’ of Ms. A. He moved on. He did not want to waste his energies on someone who did not wish to understand. She lost a good mentor and friend in the bargain. She still was blind.
A lot of her well-wishers saw what she could not see and warned her again and again. But she did not believe them. She did not ‘want’ to believe them. She strongly believed that people are good souls only circumstances make them do things that are not good. Hence, she tried her best to make things work for Ms A. She tried her best to project the good qualities of Ms. A to others. Stood by Ms. A through thick and thin. But Ms. A played with her weakness – her goodness. In reality, she was not confident about herself, did not love herself enough and did not think she was worthy of the friendships, affection and love of so many good people. In an attempt to dupe others that she was ‘happy’, she was duping herself – confident and bold on the outside but scared and full of self-doubt on the inside. She always managed to push the ‘good people’ away from her – anyone who saw ‘good’ in her, ‘potential’ in her…..
While she was blind, a couple of good friends drifted away. A few stood by her because they took upon themselves to ensure that her blindness is cured.
Finally, they were successful in curing her. Her blindness was cured she could see. She would not only see what Ms A had done, more importantly she could now see the ‘goodness’ in her, her ‘self-worth’, she started to ‘love herself’.
The cost of the blindness was losing not only her dream job but her mentor/best friend and few good friends, fights with family members, mental and emotional turmoil….
If only she could see, she would have had her most cherished relationships with her today. She is all set write new chapters in her life with her new vision.